Starting point
You have many questions. Because you feel, that you are missing something. It is not always easy to find the right words for it. Sometimes there is confusion, sometimes inner emptiness or being deeply unfulfilled. On the other hand it also happens, that suddenly a Moment of inexplicable clarity or joy emerges. Unfortunately, these moment are mostly short. But from that moment on you know, that there is something - a level in yourSelf - where everything is fundamentally different. Being within you invites you to realize ItSelf. Actually, "The Eternal Feminine" draws us onwards" (Goethe). It won't get out of your mind anymore and your Quest has begun.

Step 1: Awakening/Mindfulness
"Normally" you are continuously taken in tow by your thoughts, emotions and desires. You are rarely in your center. Yes, you don't know your center at all, really. Thus, how to know, that "you" are in thoughts all the time? Sooner or later you may be hearing of the possibility of inner freedom, though, something in you, that you really are, your true identity. Awakening means, making an inner leap to your True Self. It is the realm of freedom from thinking. You are "here" (your inner observing) and your thoughts are "there" (in front of you). It is the first step back toward your Origin. Joy, joy.

Method: Sitting in a relaxed way in a chair two times a day 10 minutes with the eyes closed. Watch the inside of your eye-lids. You will notice, that you are here and your eye-lids there (on which you project your thoughts). Thus, you are not your thinking. See: Awakening 

Step 2: Personal Integration
Together with the inner distance space is created. More and more you acknowledge, that in Essence you are actually spaciousness. Gradually you will rely more on the inner reality. Through this you would drop your (ego)control. Everythings is flowing unhindered through you. Among them undigested remains from your past. More often you will be confronted with rejected contents: pain, fear, anger, inferiority feelings and inhibitions. You understand, that these are all parts of yourself, which in the past were too painful to be accepted. Now, you will have your second chance to still integrating them. Becoming aware and healing (integration of the personality into the new identity) are two sides of the same coin.

Method: Self-integration: spiritual, psychological, physical. See a.o.: Emotional self-integration, The Personal Health Plan in 10 Steps with nutrition, bowel cleansing etc. See: www.vitalworld.org

Step 3: Being Rooted in Heaven & Earth
At the same time inner openings become more and more large. Initially you are only the inner watcher. Slowly you will experience moments, in which awareness is expanding itself more. For instance, you sit on a rock and "suddenly everything drops off". Suddenly there are no thoughts nor worries anymore. You are dissolved into a Moment of inexpressible clarity. Everything is as it is, without you being able to still adding something to it. From that moment on you know, that your Consciousness is bigger than yourself. Not only yourself, but your environment as well are part of the One Great Consciousness: your Self. Ergo: you embrace/love everything like yourself.

Method: Heaven and Earth Exercises e.g. Tiendi Qigong. Unique exercises, that have little to do with the common Qigong. From the very first moment your Within determines the course of the movements.

Step 4: Breakthrough of the Light
Slowly you will start feeling, that the Path requires less and less effort of your own. It seems, as if you don't move toward Being, but that Being is drawing you within. In the beginning the longing (toward liberation) is still coming from your small self (ego). Now you start noticing, that that "the Origin is longing for you". If that is the case, then time is ripe, that you may be responding to the longing of the Ultimate. It is the invitation to (still) more going into depth. Intensive meditation is supporting you with that. With every new opening you touch the Divine in you. Inner peace, joy, strength, connectedness and compassion are increasingly penetrating you. You know: my deepest within is part of the Divine Light. Nothing can bring you out of balance anymore. Joy, joy, gratefulness.

Method: Ma-Zen (Mother-Zen). The Zen, that brings you to the Origin without effort. It is based on feeling awareness.

Step 5: Purification/Healing
One thing you didn't realize, though. Namely, that also after a Great Experience you sooner or later will once again be confronted with your ego. Life resembles a flower. It continuously opens and closes. Certain teachings - e.g. that claim "once enlightened, always enlightened" - prove to be false. The Divine regularly "withdraws", in order to giving you a chance to working on further integration ("Dark Night of the Soul"). The greatest obstacle is the ongoing temptation to use your Realization as support for your (ego)ambitions or worse: "I, the great enlightened one". Secondly, because of your Great Opening-Up unprocessed complexes (hatred, self-pity, need for recognition etc.) can draw the energy of the Light toward themselves, blowing themselves up. With the Light increasing, darkness also increases. The latter becoming stronger all the time. With the danger, that after some time the "widersacher" takes over your entire system.

Method: Also (especially) after a Great Experience continuous inner Purification/Healing is a necessity. Apart from Personal Integration (see above) fasting, Mother Healing, catharsis, breathing and the vibration exercise are at your disposal.

Step 6: Refuge in the Great Mother
Blessed are those, who on the one hand do everything themselves to follow the Path toward ultimate Liberation, Peace and Joy, but on the other hand - through their own experience - come at a point, where they have transcended the ego. At his stage, you are not able to do anything yourself anymore. Or the struggle against ego-temptation has exhausted you to such an extent, that the only option is to give up all self-effort. In both cases only one thing remains. It is the Path of Surrender. Often you will be spontaneously drawn in e.g. an irresistable longing emerges to surrender to the Unknown. In reality, it is the Great Mother, Who is longing to take you in in Her Cosmic Womb. From then on you live in Her All-Embracing Security. It is the completion of your Quest. 

PS. Anyway, you will experience, that the Path isn't lineair, but cyclical. Confrontations with your small self - the contents of your Consciousness - won't stop. With every new level of Consciousness a new understanding and a more complete integration will be achieved. Thus, step 1-7 are continuously being passed through (spiral process).

Method: You may support your longing to returning to the Origin by e.g. contemplation, celebration, dance, mantra, chant and offerings. See: Mother Worship/Sunday Celebration. See also: Refuge and especially also Turn On.

Step 7: Compassion/Service
With every step your compassion will be growing as well. While awakening it is your clarity; while doing personal integration it is love for your own suppressed parts; while being rooted in Heaven and earth it is the expansion (of awareness) into your direct surroundings; while realizing the breakthrough of the Light it is the ultimate unity with the Divine; while doing purification e.g. inner healing it is the acceptance of your dark side (shadow); while taking refuge in the Mother it is the security, that you share with all sentient and non-sentient beings. The ultimate insight is, that the inner Path includes a continuous growth of compassion. Ultimately, there is nothing to attain anymore. What is left is to share your inner Essence with every being in need. The ultimate paradox: after first having turned away from people (in order to be able to turning within), your fellow human beings eventually liberate you from your too much. Gratefulness, gratefulness.

Method: Guideline is the Vision of the Grail: "Awaken!, restructure your life and serve others". See also the extensive Integral Way pages. Subsequently, we offer further training like Spiritual Service, Health Service and Community Service.

Appendix

Suggestions

Feeling awareness. In all circumstances you feel bodily contact with your immediate
surroundings: your feet while walking, your buttocks in contact with the chair while
sitting and your back while lying down.

Awakening. Relax two times a day 5-10 minutes in a straight position, closing your
eyes, while watching the inner side of your eyelids. Noticing that there is a inner
distance between you - the watcher - and the "screen" in front of you. Sooner
or later you see thoughts projected on the screen, realizing: "I am here
and my thoughts are there". Conclusion: "I am not my thinking".

Conscious breathing. "Normally" you (unconsciously) identify yourself with your
breathing in. Change this in consciously feeling e.g. emphasizing your breathing
out. You will notice: it disappears into nothingness somewhere deep down,
while continuously emerging from it.

Mantra. In breathing out you whisper "death", while in breathing in
you whisper "rebirth".

Connecting. "God is omni-present". Imagine the Space around you
is the "Father". How does it feel? Then you imagine it to be the
Great Mother. How does it feel?

Surrender. Feel the presence of the Mother
always in and around you..