The Universal* Way
(Also: "Initiation into Your Maitreya Mind")
* Used to be called "The Integral Way"

The Universal Way


Personal Integration


1. Including personal integration of body and soul. The first part is Optimal Vitality Care. This program is done every year, the first year the full two months, after that every year one month. It is a powerful tool for purification and regeneration. The Emotional self-integration (ESI) is a method to integrate suppressed, "negative" content of your psyche. It consists of eight steps and is meant for application in daily life. Its inspiration comes from "Voice Dialogue", a unique approach, developed by Hal Stone and Sidra Winkelman.


Free Basic Package
In only two months a lot healthier? It is possible. For free.
Optimizing your basic metabolic functions is the secret of your regeneration. Try and you will feel the result yourself

1) Vitality Food
(Step 1 of the flow system: Nutrition)

2. What is offered here is optimal nutrition, organic quality, toxin and parasite-free, with an excess of alkaline (fruits, vegetables), low in animal protein - in case of subnutrition consult your doctor - rich in fiber, sugar- and yeastfree, de-acidifying, hypo-allergenic, if needed also gluten or milkfree, promoting optimal digestion, detoxifying, animal friendly, easy to prepare, simple, delicious and cheap. To put into practice for two months uninterruptedly! Do it together with your family - children older than sixteen - or a friend in order to stimulate, encourage and support each other. Please, notice that these recommendations are for healthy people only. Very thin persons or those who are on a vegan diet should carefully consider participation. Clearly the diet (meant is the first month) proposed is NOT for (poor) people with protein undernourishment. The diet has most benefits in people who (still) have the common way of eating and drinking, including the consumption of average amounts of (animal) protein products. For recipes and menus any vegetarian cook book will do, provided that recommendations are fulfilled, or otherwise see „Monks' Food Recipes" (24).

3. An optimal nutrition is part of your Personal Health Plan. Vitality Food is the result of a long experience + good idea’s of others as well. It includes an optimal nutrition for all disorders, slimming practices, regeneration, emotional balance and clarity of mind. It is very simple. The most important principles, apart from what already has been said, are:

1. Separation of carbohydrates (potatoes, cereals, rice, pasta,
bread) and proteins (meat, fish, eggs, dairy and soy),
(e.g. the largest quantity),
3. At lunchtime eat always (salad+) vegetables first,
then the proteins, 
4. In the evening you should eat as EARLY and
as LITTLE as possible,

Choose whenever you can fresh, organic, whole food. Avoid sugar, white flour and all other processed industrial foods. Limit cooking, baking etc. as much as you can. The more simple your menu the better. In case of (serious) disorders/disease, consult your physician before starting the program.



For two months: Fruits only
4. Until lunch time „fruits only". One kind a time. Limit or avoid the super sweet ones (f.e. pear, peach, melon). Always half an hour in between various fruits. Do not combine with anything else, except nuts and seeds. Chew well. You may alternate fruits with an alkaline soup. (See 24)

NB. In case of fermentation - gas and wind, heartburn or burping - instead of fruits, whole sandwich with limited butter, organic if possible, tahini or peanut butter, tomato, sugarfree jam or marmalade. (Plus take 3-4 cups a day of "four winds tea": equal amount of peppermint, chamomile, fennel and caraway. No sweetener). From the second month on, yogurt with fruits/cereals or soft cheese curd thoroughly mixed with 1-2 tablespoons cold-pressed linseed oil + little honey, fruit and cereals, is recommended. See under "Monks' Food Recipies". Neither take cheese nor milk.

5. In the first month: vegetables + carbohydrates + fats
This is a protein-free month (acc. to prof.dr.L.Wendt. See for the logic of it my book "Flow System Therapy"). No meat, fish, eggs, dairy products or soy (e.g. tofu) will be eaten. It consists of raw mixed salads with e.g. olive oil, cold-pressed oil, seeds, nuts + lightly cooked vegetables + seaweed + boiled brown rice, or potatoes, or whole cereals, or pasta, or corn - limited beans or lentils - or bread. Fresh garlic is recommended. No dairy products/cheese.

6. In the second month, two to three times a week: vegetables + proteins + fats (vegetarian/non-vegetarian)
Consisting of raw mixed salads with e.g. cold pressed oils, olive oil etc. + steamed vegetables + seaweed + tofu, or fish, or egg, or cheese (limited) + fat, or - little or no - meat. Common vegetable oil or butter for baking and frying. Fresh garlic. Don’t use margarine or industrial baking mixtures. Yogurt and soft cheese curd, the latter very thoroughly mixed with 1-2 tablespoons cold-pressed linseed oil + honey, fruit for dessert are recommended.(See "Monks' Food Recipies"). In the afternoon fruit (only apple) or rice crackers.

7. For two months: limited! vegetables + carbohydrates + fats

As early as possible (6:00 p.m. ), as little as possible, no complete meal, e.g. soup + cracker, (very) small plate with steamed vegetables, or rice-vegetables. NO raw salads or fruits, because of possible indigestion during the night. Also NO proteins (meat, fish, tofu, cheese or egg) for supper, because of indigestion with possibility of self-poisoning as well. Chew well! In case of feeling hungry in the later evening, try to solve it by drinking water or eat a rice cracker.

Note: Carbohydrates: rice/ bread/ cereals/ potatoes/ pasta are okay, preferably NOT baked or fried with fat/oil/butter. Butter ON the bread is okay.

You may decide to go on with Vitality Food, which would be a very wise decision. Breakfast and supper remain the same, lunch as the second month, with/without animal protein. NB. In case you don't feel better after the diet, please, consult your physician.

8. P.S. In some cultures and/or countries people eat (very) late. Very often it may not be possible to avoid this. My advice: make your choices (if possible) according to Vitality Food principles as mentioned above, eat as less as possible, chew well AND ENJOY IT! 

9. PS. Those with gluten, soy and/or milk-lactose intolerance e.g. allergy, and the undernourished of course, may need more animal protein: meat, fish and eggs, e.g. daily (at lunchtime).

10. Don’t drink coffee, cereal coffee (pure chicory allowed), black tea, green tea, mate tea, rooibos tea, "fruit tea" (usually black tea with aroma) or milk. Instead water - half non-chlorinated from the tap (or otherwise boil it), the other half low sodium mineral water, fruit juices and herbal tea’s. Neither senna nor frangula should be in! Always look at label. At least around 2-3 liters of fluids a day. More in hot climates. Always half an hour between meals and the drinking. Avoid carbonated drinks: soft drinks, gas mineral water, beer. Red wine - preferably of organic quality - instead often allowed: 1-2 glasses a day. No wine in case of candida, hypoglycemia, alcoholism, fatty liver, pancreatic disorders etc. Consult your physician.

In order to benefit more from
the Personal Health Plan: study the Flow System:

The dynamic equilibrium between nutrition (1), digestion (2), blood circulation/transportation (3), combustion (4), assimilation (5), detoxification (6) and elimination (7) of nutrients, water,
waste products and toxins respectively.

2) Pro-biotics
(Step 2 of flow system: Digestion)

11. The intestinal flora - our own symbiotic healthy bacteria - plays a key role in optimizing the functions of digestion and the immune system. Because of harmful influences - food, toxins, parasites, fungi, bacteria, viruses, chronic indigestion, iatrogenic (antibiotics), amalgam, environmental pollution, electro-smog - damage has occurred in almost everybody. Therefore, our flora has to be restored. Buy natural alive pro-biotics with at least three to four different varieties of bacteria. Just acidophilus or bifidus won’t do. Increase dosage over the weeks. If no pro-biotics available, take a lactic acid remedy. Dosage see label. Always in water before the meals.

3) Fitness/sweating
(Step 3/4/6: Transportation/Combustion/Detoxification)

12. Depending on your condition, health situation and age, do daily exercise - six days a week - like walking, cycling, stretching ( e.g. for handicapped), jogging or swimming. A minimum of 20-30 minutes per day is required. Drink one or two cups hot herbal sweating tea, common lime/tilia blossom, elderberry blossom/sambucus niger or others, with honey before starting. Take shower after. Maybe you like to go to the sauna once a week. Those who are interested in doing our special simple! Qi-gong exercises, please order our video (especially suitable for the elderly). PS. Keep warm feet under any circumstance, with warm water bottle, walking, socks and/or massage.

4) Supplements
(Step 5: Assimilation)

13. Two months intake of daily coverage of all the necessary vitamins, minerals and trace-elements, usually available in ONE tablet or capsule („multiple"). Take normal natural brands from health food store, with dosages around twice as high as the Recommended Dietary Allowances (RDA). Additionally spirulina and calcium citrate can be taken.

5) Detoxification/De-acidification
(Step 6: Detoxification)

14. Detox (of e.g. heavy metals) and regeneration through chlorophyll liquid (Be sure it is natural!) or chlorella. Follow recommendations on the label. Additional daily lymph cleansing through „oil chewing". Before breakfast take one dessert spoon sunflower oil (preferably cold-pressed) in your mouth. Chew, suck, pump and gargle energetically during 20 minutes. Don’t swallow even one drop! In the end the oil has become foamy. It means, it is saturated with toxins. Spit it out. Wash mouth with warm water and spit it out as well. Then brush your teeth. Those, who until now were eating/drinking considerable amounts of - meat, fish, egg, cheese, coffee and tea - additionally take three times a week two times a day half a (small) teaspoon sodium bicarbonate („alkali flush") in water on empty stomach, provided it is tolerated well. It supports the de-acidification of your tissues. Take a pressed lemon regularly with some honey. Note: Strive for a non-toxic household. Very important is the use of fluoride free toothpaste, non-toxic detergents and either (black) ceramic alu or glass pots and pans. Absolutely NO common alu-ware.

6) Liver flush according to Dr.R.Stone
(Step 6: Detoxification)

15. Half way your program (second month) take one glass with 1 squeezed grapefruit, 1 ditto orange, 1-2 squeezed lemons, 1-3 squeezed big fresh cloves of garlic and 1-2 tablespoons pure olive oil. Mix and take it on empty stomach before breakfast. Eat fruits and vegetables only that day, don't take any of my medicines. It is excellent for cleansing your liver. A „healthy" flare-up reaction may occur (e.g. fatigue, sleeplessness). If it feels good, you can repeat it the week after. One to two times a week, to a maximum of three weeks. In case of sensitivity of your stomach, liver, gallbladder or pancreatic disease - in the past, e.g. gastritis, ulcer, mononucleosis, chronic hepatitis, alcoholism!, tropical diseases, pancreatitis, acute gallbladder spasm etc. - the liver flush is contra-indicated. In cases of doubt do consult your doctor.

7) Guasha (Chinese jade stone treatment)
(Immune-stimulant/Detoxification, step 6)

16. Revolutionary Chinese detox and immune-stimulating therapy. Guasha means „scraping". Through scraping your skin (with oil!) (subcutis, connective tissue, muscles, blood vessels, nerves, bones and joints) of head and abdomen, an integral regenerative reflex-effect on your entire system is achieved, in particular detoxification, stimulation of the immune system, dissolution of blockades, support of blood circulation, pain treatment and relaxation, everything together in one simple treatment! Not surprisingly thus, that guasha (or Chinese jade stone treatment) belongs to the most powerful Self Care e.g. prevention measures indeed. In China guasha is used on a large scale. The scraper („bao yu") is made of jade. You can order it from us, together with the instruction manual for limited self-treatment.
In the nearby future, day courses will be organized in order to support your efforts. For details, see:

8) Anti-oxidants
(Step 6: Detoxification)

17. Additional advice for neutralizing harmful free radicals. Recommended for those who are chronically tired, who are undernourished, having no energy, live in unhealthy circumstances (pollution, electro-smog) or are in a stage of recovery. Apart from your daily "multiple", choose a combination of at least vit. C (max. 1000 mg) and E (200 IU), selenium (100 mcg), zinc (30 mg), beta-carotene (5.000 IU) and alpha lipoic acid (50 mg) as a daily dosage.

9) Bowel Cleansing
(Step 7: Elimination)


1) normal
2) pulled in (irritation/inflammation)
3)gas belly (fermentation)
4) servere gas belly (impairment of diaphragm movements
5) sagged "stool" belly
6) stool belly with inflammation 7)combined gas and stool belly
8) combined gas,stool and inflammation belly
(acc. to Dr. E. Rauch)


19. Indigestion with self-pollution - toxins re-entering your bloodstream - is a major cause of all disease. Daily intake of 2 teaspoons green clay („argyle") with water (in the morning and evening) will neutralize the polluters. Notice: clay could cause constipation. In that case take (5 minutes after intake of the clay) a quarter or (sometimes) half a teaspoon of vitamin C powder (always with sour taste!), therefore in water or apple juice) until daily bowel movement is restored. Everyday intake won’t be a problem, unless it irritates the stomach. In that case, try another very mild (herbal) laxative. A good idea is to additionally take MgSO4 (magnesium sulfate), 1 tablespoon (30 gr.) dissolved into one glass (250-300 cc) lukewarm water, everything to be drunk half an hour (not more not less) before going to bed one day a week (e.g. the weekend). The diarrhoea the other morning after waking up, is what was aimed at. If no effect in two consecutive days, stop taking. Try another mild laxative. NB. Never use MgSO4 in case of any current or previous trouble with your belly. Do not use in chronic diarrhea (colitis). In case of doubt: Consult your physician. Note: You should never have any constipation! An optional practice, which will be greatly contribute to optimizing health and preventing disease, is to introduce three consecutive cleansing days every month. See: "flow system therapy", chapter 10b

10) Drinking (Cure)
(Step 7: Elimination)

20. Sufficient daily intake of fluids, is the first prerequisite for becoming (staying) healthy. It is the necessary tissue irrigation and kidney-cleansing. Usually, real thirst will appear, only after the first three days of self-imposed drinking (to restore the sponge activity of your tissues) of at least TWO to THREE liters of water (boiled, non-chlorinated!, purified, bottle, mineral water, more in hot climates) and kidney diuretic herbal teas (3-4 cups a day orthosiphonis or solidago tea) daily! Plus addditional pure (mixed) herbal tea’s, any, however without black tea, chemicals, senna or frangula. Always half an hour between drinking and eating. No coffee (no coffee substitute, only pure chicory allowed), no black, green, rooibos tea or alcohol (1-2 glasses of - organic - red wine allowed, unless forbidden by your doctor. Not in case of severe stress, fatigue or exhaustion!). Neither smoking nor drugs.

21. NB. Take all your remedies/medicines during the day at least 2-4 hours distance from the intake of the green clay (exception vit.C powder). The cure is harmless and without any side-effects. Some (many) allopathic medicines can be stopped in the course of this self-treatment. In case of doubt always ask your consulting doctor. After two months, continue the food (less strict), the drinking, regular bowel cleansing (e.g. one weekend a month), the exercises and the sweating. You will find all relevant information in our Flow System Workbook (See Step 2). Usually, one two months Personal Health Plan in two to three years should be enough, provided you live healthy in between. You may extend this program with another month. If, after two (three) months still no or insufficient result is achieved, you may think of consulting a (holistic) MD. Usually the following will play a role:


1) Amalgam or other metal fillings 2) „Foci" which means chronic (symptomless) inflammations with an effect on your general condition mostly from areas in the head (teeth, tonsils, sinuses) 3) Parasites, bacteria, viruses 4) Gluten or/and milk/lactose intolerance or allergy 5) Some other allergies 6) Geopathy (harmful influences from the earth) 7) Electro-smog: the sum total of radar, satellites, electricity, handy’s, radio, TV, computer etc. 8) Serious environmental pollution 9) Iatrogenic (allopathic medicines) 10) Irreparable chronic disease 11) Serious immune-deficiencies 12) Problems of the spine 13) Psychological, social factors and stress.

When ill ask your consulting doctor for additional advice before starting the program.



1) In case you are going to follow the Personal Health Plan you promise me to consistently and accurately follow all details of my recommendations. Only then your regeneration process will be optimal.

2) It is strongly recommended to do this self-help course together with other (adult) members of your family, a friend or a colleague for mutual support.

3) This plan is a health-promoting program. It is for healthy individuals only. We are not responsible for anything that happens during or after your program. The liability is entirely yours.

4) In the first week of the course (normal) flare up symptoms (fatigue, fever, pain, nausea etc.) may occur. It means your detox functions well. In case of doubt, please consult your physician.

5) We are not treating any symptom, disorder or disease. However, your existing symptoms may (very likely) become improved or entirely disappear. It is the positive "side-effect" of improving your health.

6) While receiving the "bao yü" (see under 7 in the Personal Health Plan) you will find a small questionnaire for assessing the results. Please fill it in after having finished the program and send it back to us. Thanks.

7) If for some reason or another you would like to receive a more personal guidance from us, see our Personal Health Check-up. Move to Step 2

8) If in any (serious) doubt about whatever symptoms during or after the program, please consult your physician.


"Monk’s" Food Recipes

Wake-up early. Fruits only, cereal -see under supper, alkaline soup or soft cheese curd linseed oil porridge ("quark").

* Fruit

Fruit only, all kinds. One kind a time. As much as you like. At least half-hour between the meals. Small amount of dried apricot can be added. In case of gas and bloated belly, omit sweet fruits (e.g. preserved fruits, pears, sweet-melons). If complains persist, skip fruits and choose another breakfast.

* Potato /vegetable soup (alkaline soup)
150 g. peeled potatoes
100 g. carrots
100 g. peeled celeriac
30 g. leek
¾ l vegetable liquid (juice)
1 tablespoons kitchen herbs + sea salt + nutmeg
2 tablespoons cream or sour cream
20 g. of butter
Chopped potatoes, leek and celeriac in pan with butter, slightly browned. Add vegetable juice and salt until cooking. Mash in bowl until medium-thick soup. Completing it with kitchen herbs and nutmeg.

* Miso soup
Instant from health food store.

* Soft cheese curd-linseed oil porridge(sweet)

Mix 1 of 2 tablespoons natural, cold-pressed, unprocessed linseed oil with 1 teaspoon of tahini (sesame paste) with 1-teaspoon honey or a dash concentrated fruit juice, mix it very thoroughly. Add 100g lean soft cheese curd, which has to become so thoroughly mixed until yellow cream. Add crushed linseed, muesli and fruits. Note: because linseed oil is oxidizing rapidly, prepare porridge shortly before eating. Always close linseed oil bottle well, and put it in dark, cool corner.

Main meal. Raw salad/soft cheese curd/tofu/seaweed/fish
combinations. Examples:

* Cabbage salad
fine sliced cabbage
1 onion, chopped in thin rings
sea salt
apple vinegar, 1 tablespoon
cold-pressed sunflower oil, 1 tablespoon
concentrated apple juice, 1 tablespoon, 1 sour cucumber, cut into pieces
dill, caraway seed, basil, 1 teaspoon of each
Knead the cabbage with the salt for about 10 minutes, add the other ingredients.

* Row red beet salad
red beets, very fine chopped
1 onion, fine chopped
1 apple, in small pieces
lemon juice, 1 tablespoon
cold-pressed sunflower oil, 2 tablespoons.
sea salt, a pinch of nutmeg
basil, horseradish, 1 teaspoon
chopped fresh parsley
1 teaspoon of honey(or fructose)
lean soft cheese curd 80 g or more

* Cucumber salad
1 big cucumber
100 -150 g of yogurt
sea salt and freshly grinded pepper
a hand full raisins
walnut or hazelnuts
1 fine, chopped onion
mint, 1 tablespoon
1 clove garlic, crushed

* Green salad, lettuce or endive
1 clove garlic, crushed
grinded mustard seed, ½ teaspoon (or common mustard)
lemon juice or apple vinegar, 1 tablespoon
cold-pressed sunflower oil, 2 tablespoons
honey, 1 tablespoon (or fructose)
(avocado or/and fried tofu cubes)
sea salt and fresh grinded pepper, furthermore basil or thyme

* Tofu-dish ( for 1 pers.)
tofu, ½ block (150 g)
one spring onion
cold-pressed sunflower oil, 1 tablespoon
soy sauce(salt), 2 tablespoons
a bit pepper
Crush tofu and spring onion, heat the oil, put onion in pan stir it, add tofu, together fry for five minutes. Add soy sauce, mix well. Add a little bit of pepper, ready. Serve with rice, noodles or bread.

* Seaweed soup ( for 1 pers.)
seaweed, 1 sheet (from Asian food store)
1 tomato
asparagus (1) , cucumber (1/3) of spinach
low-sodium soupbase, ½ cube
fresh shiitake mushroom, 1
soy sauce, 1 tablespoon
some chopped spring onion
some chopped fresh coriander
sesame oil
Cut seaweed, tomato, vegetable and shiitake in pieces. Boil 200cc water. Add soupbase and soy sauce, add vegetables and cook them for 5 minutes. Add seaweed and onion. Finally the coriander and few drops of sesame oil.

* Fish Dish
1 trout
3 chopped spring onions (including the green leaves)
rice wine, 1 tablespoon (from Asian food shop)
soy sauce, 3 tablespoons
fructose, 2 tablespoons
rice vinegar, 1 tablespoon (from Asian food shops)
sunflower oil, 2 tablespoons
dash chopped ginger root and fresh coriander leaves
Clean and wash the fish, drain. Make several deep cross-sections on both sides of the fish. Heat up the oil in the pan and put fish in, fry until golden color. Add spring onion, ginger, then soy sauce, fructose, rice wine and vinegar, a glass of water. Cook on low fire until the fish is done. Then put fire high, to concentrate the gravy. Sprinkle chopped coriander leaves on the fish. Ready. Serve with rice, noodles or bread.

* Soft cheese curd-linseed oil porridge(spicy)

As above, however without concentrated fruit juice. Instead of muesli and fruits: pinch of curry, red-pepper powder and/or pinch of pepper. Add alfalfa, watercress, sprouts, seaweed, and lettuce together with crushed flaxseed. add pieces of sour cucumber, tomato and /or avocado. Finally, possibly some fish (herring or sardines).

Easily digestible/ early (preferably before 6:00pm)/ (very)little/ vegetarian/no raw salads

* Bread/filling (tahini, cucumber, tomato or self made soft cheese curd linseed oil spread: homemade „mayonnaise")
* Soup (with some knäckebrod/crackers)
* Boiled vegetables/rice/noodles

* Cereal porridge
1 cup of brown rice
3 cups of water
fruits, some raisins, cinnamon, or natural vanilla, some honey (or fructose)
Boil the rice in water 15 minutes, add ingredients and boil again for 10 minutes on low flame. Then put it on tea-warmer/hot plate, until it is completed done (mostly another 10 minutes or longer).


25. First wash the soy-beans and soak them in water one day in advance. Put them in a mixer and crush them thoroughly. Add water to this mash and cook it, while stirring intensively, since they tend to stick on the pot. A full five minutes of boiling is necessary, in order to destroy the natural toxins. Sieve the residues, in such a way, that a liquid is left: the soy milk. In China they then put calcium-gluconat in. Elsewhere some other (harmless) chemical may be used. The chemical should be dissolved into little water and slowly be added to the soy milk, while stirring. It should mix very well. Then you keep it still for half an hour, during which the soy milk will become stiff. Put then the jelly very carefully in a special cotton towel - a cheesecloth - not too loose, but enough permeability to drain water out. You wrap the towel tightly, while putting it in a bamboo-mat. Place a heavy object on it, to squeeze the water out. It usually takes a few hours only. Depending on the pressure of the weight, soft or hard tofu will be required. Recommended for local communities to do it on a larger scale!


26. Put the mung-beans in a sieve and wash them thoroughly. The sieve is then placed in a waterbasin, with the beans under water for half an hour. Remove the water and put the sieve with the beans in a plastic container. Rinse water two times a day. After rinsing, cover the sieve with a towel. It will be ready in around five days, depending on the room temperature and the quality and kind of the seeds. This you can do with e.g. mung-beans, soya-beans, daikon, peas, lentils and alfalfa. Especially soy-beans and peas need a little cooking before eating. The others may be taken raw, in salads etc. Sprouts have a reputation of being very healthy. Also very suitable as a community project.

See for more details:



Emotional self-integration (ESI)

27. The first principle is don’t try to change yourself. By trying to change yourself, one part is always set against the other. A dominant part is not satisfied with the other, usually the opposite. For instance, the „pusher" inside of you thoroughly hates the „good-for-nothing", hence will try to re-educate this „disturbing element". However, one part fighting the other, isn’t exactly where you were waiting for? Because wasn’t this your suffering from the very beginning after all? Immediately after birth - or even before - your parents had an expectation about how you „should become". In fact, very few children are accepted exactly the way they are. You always have to become "somebody else". Not the one you are, but how they hope you are going to be, has been engraved in you from the very start. It is (was) one of the causes of your (later) suffering.

be what you were never allowed to

28. The reason why I am "against change" is that it is not the way to bring about wholeness. The ambition to change yourself, only makes the problem bigger. People, who want to change themselves, lack self-acceptance, the only thing that could really heal them. So e.g. no "spiritual" fights against the "ego" anymore, one of toady's most popular self-tortures. Free yourself from this „spiritual" idealism, which in fact is the latest variation of the old guilt and sin complex - old wine in new bags - a new self-hatred indeed. No, in order to be whole, you have to become open to all those parts, which for some reason or another were once rejected: your fear, pain, anger and „ugliness", together with - as a consequence of - all kinds of early conclusions, which from then on have been dominating your life. Once consciously and lovingly accepting yourself, lots of things will be spontaneously and miraculously changing!

29. Step number two in your self-healing is to consider all "disturbances", problems, emotions, conflicts, obsessions and suffering not as you, but as parts of yourself, which once - mostly at the start of your life - were denied, excluded, rejected or suppressed. It will be a great relief to you to realize, that you are not your „negativity"- with all its effects: feeling guilty, inferiority complex, selfishness, „spiritual" ambition - but that it is only part of you. You have it, rather than being it. Realizing this, you can handle them better, because they don’t push you down anymore. As a child you couldn’t cope with them, usually because you felt too much risk by expressing, showing or even feeling them. At childhood you are completely helpless, you depend entirely on your parents (environment). Hence, any risk is a survival matter. However, now this survival situation is no more there, you can open yourself up to it, without any risk.

30. Step number three is to confirm, that the disturbing emotion is there. "Okay, this part of me does feel irritated". To acknowledge the fact, is where it is all about. Usually your reflexes automatically fight any unwelcome emotion immediately after it has come up, or even before. You are not aware of it and yet this is happening hundreds of times a day. This „keeping down" takes enormous amounts of energy. It causes lots of stress. Therefore a simple confirmation is a big relief. When a sigh comes up, it means that the emotion was (is) very deep indeed.

31. Step number four is giving the emotion - the part - every space it needs. You do it, by consciously identifying with the part. Is there an irritation, then - after you have recognized it as a part of yourself - you subsequently become it? E.g. „yes, this morning, when I woke up, I was so fed up with Jack. I feel so neglected by him. And this goes on already for such a long time" etc. For a while - 5 to 15 minutes - you let the part talk, while totally identifying yourself with it. You will be surprised: the part has so many things to tell (to you). To give the emotion every space it needs may not be always easy. To feel the pain, the anger, the fear or the suppressed lust for life is not always easy. However, if you feel the urge to cry, shout, move or fight, you cry, shout, move and fight.

32. The fifth principle. What is crucial at this stage is, that you let your emotion make a shift from the present to the past. If you’re angry with your wife, drop focusing on your wife, but imagine being that small child you once were. Replace the image by that of your mother, your aunt or your teacher from that long time ago. If you feel pain because of something, you imagine being that very small child you once were, feeling that pain. And don’t make a mistake, those emotions are usually not „childlike". To the contrary, they are mostly unobstructed and enraged. Express the emotions of that particular child, while simultaneously remaining the observer. You let go, while staying in control.

you can only "let go", what has been accepted first

33. The sixth principle. In this stage, it is very important that you try to express yourself the same moment the emotion comes up. In daily life this could be difficult sometimes, since you are mostly busy and in company. The reason is, that only in that particular moment your system is ready to express the emotion, and a real release could take place. Everything inside is co-operating with it; hence you should not miss the opportunity. Do not wait until the evening, „when you have more time". So you apologize to the people you’re with and go to your sleeping room, to give space to the part, the talking, the crying, and the anger. You may "strangle the pillow". The second rule is that you always do the things alone. In all these stages, you never involve anybody else in it.

34. Step number seven is to step back from your identification with the part, by identifying with the conscious self - the reflection - again. Note: only if in the previous stage you have given all space to the emotion. Reflection always comes after the (full) experience. You now have changed your inner position from the part to the whole again. From here you look at the part, reflecting about what just happened. Now, there appears to be an inner distance between you and your part. Hence, you are in a position of overview and insight. You now try to look at it from the perspective of interpretation. Before, you were identified with the emotion, now you are here and the emotion is „there". You are now able to understand the meaning of what has happened, you interpret and comment on it. For instance, you recognize the pain, the anxiety or the fear from the past. You understand that at that time, these parts were too painful to become integrated. Sometimes great insight is born a real breakthrough indeed. Suddenly you see the „connection", the origin of your pain. Often early childhood conclusions appear to be the root of it all: „they didn’t love me", „I have to survive" or „feeling is dangerous", „I am loosing control", „they trapped me" or „nobody can be trusted", may have been a conditioning context for many of your later experiences in life. Recognizing them will free you from your inner prison.

35. The eighth’s step is the embracing. Once you have given space to the emotion, with the subsequent reflection, you are welcoming it as a part of yourself, as the child which has come home, „the son that was lost". This special child, this alienated part which suffered so much because it wasn’t allowed to be part of the whole for a lifetime! It is important to embrace your emotion "physically", e.g. visualizing yourself as a mother embracing her child that was lost. Feel it at your chest, at your alive, open and loving Heart. Celebrate it as a real homecoming. And this again and again. The miracle is this: once you lovingly accept your inner child it will - step by step - loose its „negative" character. It is like a child stopping crying, once the mother has taken it on her lap. Last but not least, by loving yourself, you will become aware of the Source of Love: your Self. Be silently in this Source for a while.

I am in love with my Self
My Self is in love with all and everything

36. Finally. Chronic disease very is often closely knit with your dominant psychological pattern, your „I". The advice „be the one you were never allowed to be", therefore can do miracles. By identifying yourself with the opposite pole, turning everything upside down, to really carry out all the secret desires, frustrations, the things of which you were dreaming as a child, you are withdrawing all the existing psychological feeding to the disease, the reason why the latter may disappear instantly. Note: actors, people, who change roles frequently, usually become very old. But also in normal situations, the emotion is sometimes very much linked to parts of your body. For instance, if you feel your stomach, put your hands on that particular part and keep feeling it during the entire exercise. Include this part in your final embrace. After having finished it, you sometimes may feel the need of painting, the creative expression of your experience. Or sometimes you would like to do a role-play. Or sometimes you would like to tell somebody about it. Do all things as you prefer, but only after you have completed the last step. To avoid projection, talk to a neutral -empathic - person first. Then secondly you talk to your partner.


ESI is the creative interaction of awareness, your reflection and the countless parts of your small self. The „outcome" is the process.
It will be an aware, loving, empowered, flexible, creative,
healthy and happy human being: YOU

The third part: spiritual integration you will find in the next page

Back       Next

| HOME |

 © 2000 Copyright Han Marie Stiekema
Last revising: 12/28/10