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What went wrong?
From HanMariepedia, the spiritual encyclopedia

Healing ourselves and the world can only come from within. How can ego cure the manifestation of that selfsame ego, the mess we created in the outside world? Once we found the key how to heal ourselves, we have found the way out of the crisis. Before talking about the Great Revelation, the opening to an entire New Dimension, which contains every promise of leading (wo)mankind to a new step in evolution, it proves necessary, that the more familiar ways of spirituality come under scrutiny. Because not everything of the past is obsolete. Many aspects are still valuable, provided we don't make them absolute. Rather painful is the fact, that it is partly due to our own misinterpretations, that we have come to a dead end. Much is related to copying of teachings - mostly from the East - which have proven not to be compatible to the needs e.g. necessities of modern times.

The first step will be to define the ego. Each spiritual e.g. belief system appears to have an interpretation of its own. Mostly these insights are complementing each other, some definitions are plain non-sense. I will try to give an inclusive picture, in such a way that it makes sense. Surprise: the ego isn't a scapegoat for everything we deny, denounce or reject. "To get rid of it" isn't the solution to our problems. Having said so, its corruptive aspect will be extensively elaborated on. It is without doubt a most destructive aspect of the human mind. The "classical" way to free ourselves from its spell is to become aware. This step from addiction to inner freedom has nothing lost of its value. The problem, though, is, that fewer and fewer people are able to follow that path. They are so under stress, that even taking time and effort to free themselves of the stress, is already too much. Poor us. Because this isn't the whole story. The ones who are doing these heroic steps will - without any exception - meet quite some more difficulties. Sri Ramakrishna already warned, that "combining the spiritual path with the life of a householder" is nearly impossible. Coping with inner obstacles alone is a "full-time job".  This and some factors already mentioned above, contribute to the fact, that "more of the same" is not going to work.

The ego

The most common interpretation of the ego is, that in order to find security in life, one needs to identify oneself with objects from within and without. So, after having discovered its "I", the child is adding all kinds of additionals to it, contributing to a "strong" self-image. This proces is not only arbitrary - depending on situations - but also highly fragile. Because, deep within we know that all the things we add to our identity are impermanent. It is the reason, why in later life - even if we secured ourselves with all basic things (and more) - we still continue accumulating. The second most important mechanism is the pain-pleasure principle. This archaic "gene" we share with all living creatures. It means, that we try to accumulate pleasure, while avoiding as much disconfort as possible. The consequence for our growing up are grave. Because it creates an inner split between the accepted and the non-accepted. What we like becomes part of us - our ego's - what we don't like we reject, it becomes "not-me". Ego and shadow are two sides of the same coin. Because the shadow is equal to "everything other than me" we project everything "negative" into the other, not realizing that we are rejecting parts of ourselves. The irony is, that many on the "spiritual" path see the solutions to their problems in "getting rid of their negativity", indeed, a rather hopeless vicious circle.

The essence of the ego-formation, usually, is paid too little attention to. In a newborn child personal identity is still absent. What is important is the insight that it needs one in order to function as a member of society. The ego, therefore, is not just a "error", a "sickness" or a "delusion". On the contrary, its existence is pre-programmed. Several aspects have to be considered here. First of all, this very early germ sees itself confronted with the vastness of the "formlessness" of the mother. The selfsame dimension that nourishes it, at the same time threatens to devoure it. Growing up, thus, means to be confronted by the threat of "falling back" in mother's "lap".  Ego-formation is therefore accompanied by existential fear. Angst being a growth-factor to the ego.....Now it depends. If the environment - small and big - is a protective one, then the fear remains unconscious. E.g. in traditional societies the "I" is invited to undergo a series of initiations, in order to become part of the culture. An ego, that has found its place as part of the whole - heavenly or earthly, or both - experiences itself in relationship with something bigger than itself, hence, has no chance to develop its corruptive e.g.destructive side. Conclusion, the ego - in its negative aspects - is an entity, that lost contact with the Whole. In isolation its fear comes to the surface, causing all kinds of troublesome thoughts, emotions and behavior. Being cut off from the Whole is therefore ego's key problem. It is not a "personal" problem or something inherently wrong. In order to be healed the ego should become part of "Heaven, earth and the (new) community", once again. My whole work is focussed on it.

Its corruption

Many spiritual systems exhaust themselves in emphasizing how bad the ego is. Poor ego. Even if teachers say: "it is not the ego, but being identified with the ego", that is causing the problems, the issue remains nebulous. Too often the ego itself is demonized as being something bad, sick or evil. Of course, one could say "the ego is a construct", it isn't real. Apart from showing your own cleverness, such a statement doesn't bring us too much further. Even worse is "the ego is illusory". What an irony, exactly those people - Neo-Vedantists and Neo-Zennnists - appear to have "personal problems": relationships, money, career. Logically, because if the ego or the personality "doesn't exist, you omit working on e.g. integrating it. That which is "illusory" creates the greatest problems. That what you deny, dominates you. Indeed, even the guru's from India (in my time 1972, 1977) were said to be obsessed with money, camera's, watches, cars and women. And how many contemporary teachers preach egolessnes, simplicity, humility....while at the same time accumulating huge amounts of wealth, while hiding their underlying ambitions for status and influence? Not surprisingly, that the spirituality they are supposed to represent also degenerates. "Enlightenment to have". Spirituality has become a commodity on the "free market", just like any other object. Instead of Being mastering the ego, the ego has managed to usurp Being. It is the consequence of "self-effort" as the underlying drive. Every self-effort is based on the ego, at least in the beginning. If you are lucky, it disappears in the process. Unluckily, these are only a few. Through spiritual practice - to become aware - the underlying motivation doesn't dissolve. It remains there, unconsciously. It means, that during one's learning process, values like egolessness are cherished (to be a good student to the teacher...). Until the moment of an inner breakthrough. Once you "got" your Satori, the ego awakens from its drowsiness and jumps on your newly "acquired state".

Even as an isolated entity, the ego still has important functions that are often overlooked. Apart from "trivialities" - that  you are also a social self - that as a human being you have to function in society, needing some useful instruments for it, and yes, that you have to acknowledge, that a part of you - your biological part - is aimed at personal survival.....the ego plays an important role in control of its inner fear, the Angst that still "creates and feeds" itself. Admittingly, it is caught in a self-created vicious circle, but lacking insight (absence of awakening), under the circumstances, it has a valuable role to play. It keeps all kinds of wild (unconscious) emotions under. The situation becomes clear, when, through the process of awakening, ego-control becomes less. Many students on the path are shocked to discover, that in the initial stages, instead of becoming more peaceful, balanced or silent, all kinds of emotional storms arise. It is the situation in between a growing awareness and a (because of it) weakening ego. Coping with the tides is therefore difficult. Many become even desperate, because there is nothing left to cling to. Recommendations like "remain the observer" are falling short of the mark. Trying to control them through the ego is also not possible anymore. Very few teachers are even aware of this problem. Ignorance also exists with regard to the so-called "Widersacher" (German), in English best translated through "inner adversary". Its origination goes like this. During the process of extending awareness, more energy (Light) is entering your Being. You become more clear, transparent, intelligent, joyful, peaceful, strong....If, however, there still happen to exist unsolved emotional complexes - pain, anger, fear, feelings of inadequacy - in your "inner" Space, then these complexes use the selfsame energy to blow themselves up. "Positivity" and "negativity" both gain strength inside of you. Until it reaches a limit, a climax, in which the shadow becomes so strong, that it - mostly overnight - takes over your entire bodymind system. "St" Augustin is a good example. Although genuinely Enlightened, he "forgot" to solve his inner problems with sex, guilt and power. In later life these entities started dominating him, reason for the fact, that his influence on Christianity was a rather desastrous one.

Awakening

When it comes to practice, many (Neo-Vedanta) teachers put their students off with minimalistic guidance. "Methods blurr the process", they say, "they distract you from the real thing". Often it is simply lack of motivation, involvement, compassion (....), that brings them to this behavior. They don't take the effort to understand how difficult it is for most of the students to "wake up", simply by "looking", or "understanding the ego as an illusion" or "you are not your thinking". Many who come to me with problems on the path have been malguided! The common denominator: "mental-conceptual fixation". It starts with the instruction to "become aware". Without proper methods, instructions are just about words and concepts. Some gifted teachers may - through their inner Presence - reach the hearts of people. Rarely, this is long-lasting, though. The result is that students are struggling with their practice. Mostly "becoming aware" is equal to "concentrating yourself on something". E.g. aware cleaning the dishes. Rather than doing this "unconsciously" - not really knowing/feeling what you are doing rightnow - you now clean everything piece by piece, very slowly and "meditatively". The same is true with "observing your thinking". After a very useful introduction to the workings of the mind, you should simply "watch your thoughts". In both cases it is the will - or ego! - who is the underlying driving force. Prove: after a very short time you will be distracted by thoughts, again. Awareness proves not to be stable. The only plus is, that you now know that you are distracted. However, the benefits stop here. Conclusion: awakening based on "good will" e.g. will power is doomed to fail. The consequence is (encouraged by the teacher, who created the problem to subsequently offers his/her help to "solving" it), that "you have to do more effort". Practices that are supposed to dissolve your identification with the mind, thus turn into their opposites.

Who is cleaning the dishes, who is watching your thinking? Right, it is awareness, embedded in the aware "felt" body. If this is indeed reality, then spiritual practice should be accordingly. Some teachers do talk about "the inner body", its importance with regard to the step from "ignorance" to awakening is seldom underlined, though. No awareness without first restoring contact with the body!  Without the support of the body, who is keeping you aware?. Right, it is the ego. In order to avoid this wrong start, you begin with relaxation and feeling your bodily weight in your footsoles. Once firmly grounded, you feel your back in contact with your clothes. The third step is to feel your breathing while watching it.  Having established your aware body, you then turn to cleaning the dishes. The secret is, that while being active you keep full feeling contact with the body. By doing so, there emerges a shortcut between your aware body and cleaning the dishes. Very soon, your body is doing the job. No thinking in between, whatsoever. The direct contact with the plates, knives, glasses gives you an entirely new quality of energy. Cleaning the dishes proves to be a blissful activity. At last the activity is part of your extended inner Space. It becomes a part of You. "Strangely" (not so strange), but this is how it is: you start loving cleaning the dishes like yourself. And if this quality - this Presence - can be experienced in the kitchen, then it can be experienced in all activities, nothing excluded. With regard to "being aware of your thinking" the same thing can be observed. Through being "in the body" (better: the body being in YOU), relaxation and inner Space appear to be two sides of the same coin. The body is your closest ally with regard to extending your awareness. And because the former is solid, your inner watching will be stable. Through having your roots in the body, your thinking has no chance to get you out of your centre. Mostly, there is no thinking left. Last but not least, because there is no ego in this, no self-effort is needed. Isn't feeling your body a pleasure? 

Extending your inner Space - again with the help of the body - you sooner or later come to a point, that Space transcends the body's limits. And because you ARE Space and (ultimately not the body) body awareness will not be felt as something separate. It "has dropped off". Conclusion: in order to transcend the body, you first have to become it! This should not lead to a utilitaristic e.g. instrumental attitude towards the body, though. The body is not an instrument, that you use in order to reach something else. The goal is not leaving things behind, in order to "reach a higher goal", but to value everything for what it is. You started to include the body, because you had left it out of your consciousness. So, including it, once again, is an act of inclusivity, an act of love. The utilitaristic attitude, on the other hand, is deeply engraved in our minds. E.g. it uses Being in order to get rid of having, your True Self in order to get rid of your ego. And these systems call themselves "non-dual". Their trick: after separating yourself from your thinking, your ego, the world....that what is left is the non-dual Brahma. Peculiar, isn't it? I will therefore spend an entire chapter on it (see below). Once existing on its own Space reveals itself as Presence, first filling up the room, ultimately becoming omnipresent. Every quality has its corresponding content. It goes like this. For the observer thoughts are just outside, in front of it. Conclusion: "I am NOT my thinking. I am free, and my thinking is also free. Rather that having taken your "I" in tow and thus narrowing themselves, through inner distance the original flow of the content is restored. You are "here" and your thoughts, images etc. go by. The more you become the body with corresponding extension of awareness, your thoughts appear to be content of your aware space. They are again within you.....(only in a totally different way, compared to your ignorant state). Once you transcend the body (third step), your inner Space is so empty, that thoughts have lost all power or have completely disappeared. "Thought power" on the other hand, is a characteristic of the unconscious mind! Where thinking disappears, there isn't any ego either. Instead of your own mind, "your" Space is filled with everything around you: the vase on the table, the cubbord, your child playing on the floor.....It is the definitive shift from obsession with the self to loving everything like your self.

Vedanta emphasizes the gap between the Formless and forms. Its effort is directed to becoming the Formless, while "getting rid" of the forms. Or, a little better: with your identification with the forms. Because, being identified with the latter, the gate towards the Divine is closed. While the theory is an acceptable one, in practice the process follows a different line. As we have seen above, there isn't any stage of the spiritual Path, where you are forced to denounce forms in favor of the Formless. Buddhism is wiser and talks about "Emptiness is form". Rather than denying something, the Path is an ever growing process towards greater compassion. It is based on extending your inclusivity, eventually to a planetary, nay, cosmic dimension. The ego is part of this.  The solution to the ego-problem is not that you should reject it, but its embracing. Wasn't the essence of the ego, that it is isolated from Life? Its viciousness is not a personal "inherent" pathology, but the effect of isolation proper. Isolation is the problem. This leads to a very important shift in spiritual practice: the introduction of the "maternal" principle. In this context the ego is like the biblical "lost son", who returns Home again. Through the process of inclusivity - now "upgraded" as the core of spirituality on all levels - you embrace first yourself - your body and mind - while subsequently extending it to the "outside" world, which, from that moment on, isn't outside anymore.....Do you also (intuitively) feel the Truth of it? What a difference between approaching the "matter" from outside, through concepts and categories, however beautiful, and the approach from within! The process I describe here is an alive one, experienced during more than 40 years. Space and process are two sides of the same coin, in Me they are One. Nothing on earth can take this away from Me. My nakedness is my treasure.....By being Nothing I am everything....

Personal integration

Now, again, the troubling side of it all.....As mentioned above, however natural this process appears to be, fewer and fewer people are able to follow the Path.  One major cause is that emotional complexes, in interaction with a mad world, play an increasingly more important role. The complexity of life - of ego - causes ever growing disturbances, within and without. People don't have the "time" to take the medicine that can cure them.  They are too tired to do relaxation exercises (as one client expressed it). People are lacking nourishment. By being identified with their ego, they are cut off from their roots: "Heaven, earth and the (new) community". Even the ego is at its end, nowadays. It is called "burn-out". So, instead of taking the inner route first, you may start to improve the outer factors. Because we now know that "inner is outer"....it doesn't matter where we start. One teacher said, that "forms can never touch the Formless". I understand what he means, generally his statement complies with reality, in which Formlessness is Emptiness, Nothingness, while forms are energy patterns, the content of Eternal Space. The entire Truth is, that sometimes (or may be even often) the world of forms does resonate with the Ultimate. Many accounts of Enlightenment start with: "suddenly, as the stone rolled down the stream, I woke up" or "suddenly, at the onset of the bird singing, heaven opened itself" or "sitting on a dune, watching the sunset, suddenly, I was one with the earth".  Clearly examples of wondrous interactions. It also means, that by beginning to change your lifestyle, a first opening towards the Divine may already establish itself. Priority, in many cases, is to seek refuge in nature. Nature is closer to "God" as we are. In between plants, rocks, rivers, animals and the Divine there isn't any ego. That's why we feel so regenerated, after having been in nature. Some take "drastic" (not drastic at all, if it comes out of inner necessity) measures and move (or even emigrate). Additionally, you may start changing your lifestyle. Healthy food, healthy habits, healthy relationships. Once you have become more open, you may decide to start the journey within.

"Behold, I make everything New"

The Breakthrough

In the last decade or so, spirituality is rapidly drifting away from its original Source. Even teachers who experienced an opening, produce just more of the same, more or less copying what many others have already said. Everything has become victim of commercialization, spiritual trainings are highly popular with companies, that want to "upgrade" the effectiveness of their workers. Not humane concerns play a major role, evidently, but the expectation of higher profits are. Spirituality in the service of greed, wouldn't that turn Laotze, Buddha and Jesus in their graves? (o, yes, Jesus had no grave). "Mindfulness", once the driving force behind Buddhist awakening, turned into a tool for "feeling-better". Even the Dalai Lama stresses, that "happiness" is the ultimate aim of Buddhism. In fact, everything has moved into the direction of triviality, superficiality and ultimately meaninglessness. So, is more of the same, even if it is nicely presented, our hope for the future? Moreover, let's realize, that less and less people actively involve themselves in a spiritual Path. With the penetration of life by the "virtual world", by some already called "first reality" (....), not too long ago a major characteristic of the Divine.....,alienating us further from True Reality, what are the prospects of (wo)mankind, if the only Realm that could save them, is disappearing? Indeed, it is "death or rebirth" nowadays. Expecting, that the majority of people will not and cannot follow one of the traditional paths anymore, then, what hope is still there? One thing is a plus. The recent past has shown, that preaching for a small group of "chosen ones", has not resulted in the creation of 300 Buddha's (the promise of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh), proof of the fact, that Enlightenment-alone is NOT going to make a difference. Our attitude toward spirituality has to change, in the sense that there will be healing for all, or for nobody. What we need are teachers, who start seeing this. It is all about "Restoring the Wholeness of Life" in its totality, rather than individual "salvation" only.

If it is all about "death or rebirth", how could spirituality regain its major role? The answer is "rebirth through death". Until now, spirituality has supported people in "feeling-better", or to overcome suffering (Buddha, Jesus). Now, we have no choice, but going to the Essence of existence. Guided by the very rare Ones, who preceded you. If renewal depends on death (of the ego), then we have to confront ourselves with death in its Ultimate Dimension. Again, the majority of people has not committed itself to a spiritual Path. They are ego-stricken and blind. Who is taking care of them? Isn't (cosmic) compassion including everything and everybody?  So, "What" could possibly be that Realm, through Which everybody will be saved? No need for us to invent an answer of ourselves. The Divine did it for us some 33 years ago. Every true renewal of spirituality starts with a Revelation, that totally turns things upside down. It is the opening to a Depth, that until then was unknown e.g. suppressed. Only a Dimension that transcends everything known has the Power of Healing the Planet. Everything existing is part of the problem, rather than the solution, So, it was out of unimaginable Grace, that the Ultimate has revealed Itself. I like to interpret it as an Act of Cosmic Compassion, for it happened in the depth of our evolutionary crisis. There are some "good reasons" for it. For if "death" is the opening to New Life, in What or Whom can we die? Even concepts like Formlessness and Space don't touch that liberating Reality. We have to start calling "things" by their real name. No taboo anymore. No fear, that by being "rude" your followers quit. That Bottomless Depth in which the ego dies, is Absolute Nothingness, in physics called the Cosmic Vacuum. In 1977 I had the incredible privilege of being utterly destroyed by it. A disaster? Ever since I know the Depth from Which everything is overflowing, God and the universe included. Deep within I AM that Depth. The utterly joyful fact: instead of being exclusive, the Cosmic Mother is All-Embracing, including the whole of existence. Through surrendering to Her, everyone will be healed.

The Cosmic Mother revealed Herself clearly as a last resort. She has given us every chance to solve our own problems e.g. to become part of the Whole, once again. Spiritual insight even found ways to tackle the ego-problem through inclusivity. The very fact that She interfered proves the severity of the situation we have manouvered ourselves in. The solutions  "She offers" are therefore more radical. No soothing, pampering or playing around anymore. As the guardian of Cosmic Balance, She started destroying accumulation. Her Emptiness "doesn't tolerate" too many accumulations. The decay, therefore, has to be interpreted as the breaking down of our ego-achievements. It is like in the universe. Structures that are expanding too much, like supernova's, becoming too complex, suddenly implode. Our ego's are like supernova's. Unwilling or/and unable to return to the Source in order to get rid of its alienated aspects, the ego has blown itself more and more up. To the extent, that nowadays it is threatening the world as we know it. The destruction e.g. implosion of its ego-accumulations should therefore be welcomed. Continuation leads irrevocably to our collective suicide. So, praise the Mother for Her wise and noble interference in human affairs. The only intelligent response is to cooperate with Her, to interpret Her interference as an invitation to return to Her Bottomless Depth in order to become renewed. The price we have to pay, is neglectable: death of our ego. It is the precondition for our survival. No death, no rebirth!  It is really like a carterpiller, dying in his cocoon. Through its death an incomparably more beautiful creature is born. The butterfly in us is the Divine, the Light that has been born out of Darkness, our True Being. It is the repetition of the ongoing birth of the universe. Through it, we become cosmic, co-creators. In order to "take our cross upon us" - which is the only way to be fully human - we have to descend, incarnate in "Heaven, earth and the (new) community".

Nothing Is

Quite some people (teachers) consider thinking as the major obstacle. It is an indication that they themselves are obsessed with it! That is why they put such an emphasis on it e.g. on denouncing it....Subsequently, they impress others with teachings in which "death and rebirth" are on top of the list. By giving such an importance to thinking, they show, that they don't know where they are talking about. It is therefore really questionable, if they have ever really experienced "death and rebirth" themselves. If so, they should know, that the human mind is like an onion. In dying and in meditation - which is very similar to the former - the first skin that is "peeled off" is....thinking.  It proves to be the most superficial layer. Once you really experience that, you don't make too much fuss about it anymore. Experiences from daily life confirm this. In situations of "life and death" , there is no thinking. In such situations thinking would only hinder action. "Without even thinking for one moment, he/she jumped into the water and saved the child" or "Without thinking he/she knew exactly what to do". It appears that thinking is only a surrogate (Ersatz) to awareness. If awareness is required, then thinking only becomes an obstacle. The second layer that is "dropped off" in the dying process is that of emotions. Emotions prove to be closer to the Core of Being than thoughts. Emotions are deeper than thinking. That's why thoughts are always secondary to emotions, instead of the other way round. This is "horror" in the ears of Vedantists (and of J.Krishnamurti, E.Tolle), proof of how intellectual these systems (persons) are. Could it be, that these teachers are afraid of (their) emotions? The third layer that drops off, is that of bodily identity. Being disconnected from the body is exactly what also happens in meditation! There is only one thing left now: clear awareness. At last your "personal" Light unites itself with Eternal Light. Thus, in the "end", everybody will become Enlightened. It is just a matter of a little more patience (haha). For those with realizations that stopped with Being, this is the end of the story. Not so. Enlightenment is dissolving into Absolute Nothingness or Cosmic Womb. This, however, "you" (with only very rare exceptions) will never "experience". Because the Eternal Light (which you Are) is reborn in the selfsame Eternal Moment of disappearence. If something is taken away, but AT THE SAME MOMENT is given back, then it SEEMS, as if nothing has happened. It is the reason, that Enlightenment is considered "permanent" e.g. "absolute". In Reality "death and rebirth" rule the Cosmos, from its "lowest" to its "highest" levels, though. NOBODY, INCLUDING YOU AND I, CAN ESCAPE FROM IT...... 

"Bye, bye spirituality as we know it"

By experiencing Cosmic Renewal, both Nothingness and death get a totally different meaning. Before, Nothingness was the "horror vacui", the Abyss, in which we (we thought, but it appears to be only the ego) disappears, as a point of no return. Instead of being the end, causing existential fear, it proves to be the Vessel of Regeneration and Abundance. In Western tradition called the Grail! "Suddenly" our world view turns totally upside down. What we have to fear is expansion. The existential Angst for Nothingness is the driving force behind an ego, that is blowing itself up. What appears to be "growth", is destruction, what appears to be destruction is rebirth. Angst for Nothingness is the engine behind profit, "progress", expansion and exploitation. Without insight into its deepest drive no solution to the "ego-problem" can be found. On the "positive side", it appears that the Cosmic Womb is the Origin of everything and all. To our spiritual practice it means, that accepting Nothingness as our deepest Dimension, we have found the fountain of eternal "youth". Her outpouring never stops. Our inner (and outer) Renewal never stops. However, we never can possess Her. How to possess Nothingness? On the other hand, nobody can take Her away from us. How can you take away Nothingness? Nobody - not even the ego - can identify itself with "Her".  No usurpation is possible. It turns out that in the entire Cosmos, She is the only One that is incorruptable. You may of course create an image of Her e.g. in Her manifestation of Kali or a Black Madonna. As long as you realize the invisible and formless Emptiness (beyond Emptiness) beyond it, this is perfectly okay. Something that is containing the entire universe exceeds all human imagination. At the same time, because She "embraces everything, without exception", She is closer to you than your own skin. In Her "Lap" your Renewal is ongoing. You may thus call Her "Mother". It gives you a closeness to the Divine, like the "father" has never been able to give you.

Uni-Dualism

Primordial Myth

From the early beginnings of humanity there existed a deep understanding - nay, direct insight - of/into the structure and dynamics of the Cosmos. This wisdom is reflected in ancient myths. Because it was assumed that "Heaven and earth" are reflecting each other, cosmic events were portrayed as anthropomorphic persons and figures. The ground pattern is always the same though. It starts with the Cosmic Womb as the Essence of the universe. Everything: Gods, people, animals, plants, in short the whole of existence is born out of "Her", while continuously returning to their Origin. The Womb or Great Mother is Bottomless, very often symbolized by the Great Night, the Ocean or the Tree of Life. Her first "emanation" is the Light or the Divine. Just like everything else created, this Light is born out of Darkness, while uninterruptedly returning. In its human "Gestalt" this was called the "Son/Lover of the Great Mother". "Son", because of being born out of Her, "Lover", because of his ongoing return. He was (is) the archetype of "birth and death". By following the "Law of the Universe", he guaranteed Cosmic Balance on earth. This myth is universal. In the West we can find it back in ancient Egypt (Isis and Osiris), in Mesopotamia (Inanna/Ishtar and Tammuz), in Anatolia (Kybele and Attis), in Canaan/Palestine (Asherah/Astarte/Anat and Baal, later "replaced" by JHWH), in Greece (Rhea/Demeter and Dionysos), in the East, in ancient Persia (MotherGoddes and Zoroaster), in India (Indus Vally Great Mother and Shiva), in Tibetan Bön (Ancient Mother and Shenrab), and in China (Mother Xiwangmu and the Jade emperor), furthermore in popular Buddhism (Wushenglaomu and Maitreya Buddha).....It survived with the Dayaks of Borneo, the royal court of Cambodia, the "Ancient Mother of Vietnam", and pre-Islamic Javanese culture. It also found its way to the Americas. In Mexico you will find the Great Mother of Teotihuacan and the Serpent God, in the Andes Pachamama and the local Gods.

The Great Escape

The central aim of Buddhism is to "escape from the cycle of birth and death". It is illustrative for the events that followed in those times. First, there was this (wonderful) pharao Echnaton, who was granted Full Enlightenment. The consequence of this was far reaching. In a short time he furled the whole ancient mythology of Mother Isis and Her Son/Lover Osiris. Man wasn't part of the Cosmic Law of "birth and death" anymore, but gained immortality. The Light had made itself independent from its maternal Ground, claiming ultimate authority. While previously the Son was kept in check through the balance of "birth and death", in the new situation his power was limitless. J.Assmann claims that this was the start of monotheism, the unrestrained rule of the Omnipotent God. "I am the the only God, and no one is like me" (JHWH in the Bible). Historical background of this putsch: before, JHWH was the Son/Lover of the MotherGoddess Asherah.....Its parallels can be found in Mesopotamia, where Gilgamesh refused further "service" to the MotherGoddess Ishtar. He stepped out of the Myth and started his quest for immortality. The world of the Greeks was dominated by Mother Rhea/Demeter and Dionysos, until Zeus replaced them, turning the Mother into a masculine Goddess  (Athena). In Christianity Jesus "is the Light, who has come to overcome Darkness". Hinduism has to a certain degree preserved the idea of Cosmic Balance. It is symbolized by the Trimurti: Destruction (Shiva), preservation (Vishnu and creation (Brahma). The memory of the Mother is still alive too (Kali). At the same time China had received the Primordial Myth through the Anatolian Kybele. Her successor is Xiwangmu. In the course of time Her position was (partly) replaced by Taoist Gods. The Tao Te Ching is an effort to restore the old tradition. Lao Tze writes uncensured about the Mother of All, while still identifying the Tao with the Cosmic Womb. What the male mind did was to deny its (Divine) Origin in the Dark Mother, which was equal to rejecting "birth and death" as the foundation of the universe. He alienated the Divine from its Cosmic Context. Instead of contiunuously returning to the Primordial Darkness, in order to become regenerated, he started fighting it. "His" Light and Her Darkness became opposites, indeed, "eternal" enemies. It is the cause of dualism.

Spirituality & Science

Monotheism has managed to portray the dualism itself created as "non-duality". They separated the Light from its context and called the residue "Oneness" or "Non-duality". It is like skipping the universe as a context, and calling the earth our only "home". It is typically the result of reductionist thinking. The emotion behind is ego-ambition, though. Men wanted to rule, unhindered by restraints from the maternal Realm. (How famililiar that sounds). They claimed to possess unlimited authority, supported by an unlimited One God. Only they were created in "the image of God" (while women were considered soul-less, or even less than animals). In order "to remain alert".. he declared the battle against Darkness ("evil", the "devil") as his most fundamental mission. It found its most outspoken representatives in "dualistic sects", like Persian Zoroastricism, Gnosticism, Manicheism, Montanism and others. It is a major part of all monotheisms, though. They all divide (wo)mankind in believers ("possessing the Light, the Truth") and non-believers ("children of Darkness"). The Light is reflected by the ego, while Darkness corresponds with the shadow. Identification with the Light - the One God - gave the ego unlimited power. By declaring it "non-dual" it emphasizes its uniqueness. The irony: all those new religions from the East (e.g. Vedanta), those which are supposed to liberate us, are based on exactly the same dualism. They have extrapolated Enlightenment from its context. To be sure, (Full) Enlightenment is very unique, indeed. The Divine transcends time and space, granting the lucky ones Eternity as their true nature. The problem is, that there are hardly teachers who have gone beyond Oneness. In their experience Enlightenment is indeed the Ultimate. In that sense, they cannot be blamed. To them it is unimaginable that there is something beyond "Eternity". Although....doesn't Buddhism talk about "Emptiness BEYOND Emptiness? Theoretically, those teachers could have a conjecture. It is, on the other hand, sheer Grace, if the Cosmos reveals Itself to someone in its entirety. Insight born out of it includes the Light as being born out of the Cosmic Womb. God is the "LightBody" of the Mother, Her Creation Force. It is not the only Dimension that is born from the Mother. Creation has a shadow part.....this is Destruction, the Force that is "responsible" for ongoing decay and death.

Joke:
Moslim to me: "Beyond God, there is n(N)othing"
Me: "I agree fully"

There are various concepts of dualism. The most primitive one is the gap between God versus the world, Formlessness versus forms. They are considered opposites, hence the term "dualism". Spiritual aim is to realize the former, while (through!) rejecting the latter. A step in the right direction is to claim, that it is not the world or the forms in themselves ("an sich") , but one's identification with them. A mind occupied by desire is indeed shut off from its opening to the Divine. Even identification with concepts about God has the same effect.That's why organized religion - with its theologies and dogma's - is a collective attempt to prevent people from coming to God......Getting rid of the opposites (the world, forms) is the solution to pave the pay to the Divine, they say. Therefore the advice to abandon dualism, while embracing Non-Duality. God is Non-Dual, because "he" is Oneness. But only after you have removed "the world" e.g. "formes" from your definition! The real Non-Duality, of course, is to include both "the world" and "forms" into the Whole of the Divine. God exclusive or God inclusive, that is the question. But even after having done so, the concept of God remains reductionist.  Enlightenment is "only" part of a much deeper Reality.  To the ego Enlightenment is Emptiness, because the former dissolves into the latter. Enlightenment in its turn is disappearing into the Bottomless Darkness of the Cosmic Womb, though. Moreover, the Light is not the only Body of the Mother, the latter also has a Destruction Body. Through these two opposite but complentary Forces She is keeping Cosmic Balance. She is "ruling the universe", while "God" appears one of Her "CEO's". The consequences are grave. The One God exists, but is NOT the Ultimate Reality. Hence, the ego cannot build ultimate authority on it. He is Her Servant, not the master. To my surprise, after this all was granted to me, science confirmed my deepest insights. Its key concept is the Cosmic Vacuum. Everything, both Invisible Light ("Higgs Field") and the visible energy patterns continuously disappear into Nothingness (paralleled by the dynamics in the Black Holes), while energy is simultaneously created anew. Philosophically, metaphysically, the ground structure of the Cosmos can be called "Uni-Dualism, "Uni" represented by the Vacuum, Cosmic Womb, and "Dualism "by Her Cosmic Forces of Creation and Destruction, all three being part of the Truly One Ultimate Mystery of Life. With it the Original Myth is restored. (Wo)mankind is invited to once again become part of it. It could save our future.

You are part of the Forces of Creation and Destruction
Allowing them to play their game in you means you are balanced

Outsourcing Destruction - "Jesus died for us" - while identifying
with Creation only, is THE characteristic of Christianity.

Destruction is identified with the "devil", creating an eternal struggle between
good and evil

One step further and you start destroying "evil". Evil is everything you yourself have denied, rejected and demonized. Its result is fascism.

Western society inevitably is leading to fascism, unless its fundamentals
are profoundly changed

Mother Healing

Becoming part of Her "Web of Life" the dynamic interaction of everything interconnected, the Whole "managed" by Her  Her Cosmic Forces of Creation and Destruction, will inevitably have consequences for our own "personal" functioning. "Normally" this the case already, however, though our identification with our self-image (ego) and everything related to it (ambitions, desires, emotions), this effect is limited to our vital functions, only. Example of how the Law of Cosmic "death and rebirth" is reflected in our bodies, is the dynamic balance of cells. W. Zabel has found out, that 25% of all cells are in a stage of being broken down, 50% are more or less stable, while 25% is in a state of renewal. The miracle: the dying cells are secreting a "hormone-like" substance, that stimulates the growth of new cells! If the dying is hampered or oppressed (overconsumption of proteins, accumulation of waste-products and toxins, too little drinking, insufficient exercise, antibiotics), then the hormone release is impaired, through which in its turn cell-renewal is seriously hindered. It means, that "proper" dying is a pre-condition for ongoing regeneration! A better example of how Cosmic Law and physiological "law" are reflecting each other, can probably not be found. Insight in how "death and rebirth" are functioning, gives great confidence in how the Cosmos "is taking care of us". This Law proves to be working on all levels of our Body/Mind/Spirit. Healing means to become part of the Whole, once again. If we become part of the Whole, the Whole makes us part of its healing effort. More in detail: if we surrender to the Mother and Her Cosmic Forces, the latter are doing the healing work for us. This isn't something special, not at all, because we are from Eternity part of Her. The only thing to do is to enthrust ourselves to Her Bottomlessness. It means we should be prepared to give up everything we cling to, to start with the identification with our ego. That we only will do, after we have gained full confidence in the Mother and Her Healing Power. So, the first step is to understand "who She is", "how we are related to Her", and "how She is healing us".

After everything being said in this booklet, I have great confidence, that you manage to find answers to those questions. The first that comes up while thinking of surrendering ourselves to Absolute Nothingness, is fear. It is fear of death. To know that only the ego will die, is already a relief. Some other things may help here. Every time "you loose yourself", it appears that it is not a loss, but a gain. To listen to music in such a way, that you forget yourself, is a moment of joy. Every moment that you "are not there anymore", turns out to be "special". Why? Because in such a moment the clinging to yourself has evaporated. Such a moment makes you forget about your burden, that you - in "normal" situations - are carrying with you. So "loosing yourself" doesn't seem that bad! It is equal to a "small death". And what about going to bed every evening? Isn't it astonishing, that we trust the process, without being sure, that we will wake up next morning? It shows the gentleness of Darkness. Contrary to all propaganda of 2000 years and longer, Darkness isn't the frightening dimension in our lives. On the contrary, it is so soothing, that without a trace of fear we surrender to it. Well, Darkness is the Essence of the Cosmic Womb. The vastness of the universe is dark. If in the night we look up to the sky, do we feel threatened? The contrary is true. In Darkness we feel secure. It gives you confidence, that surrendering your ego - the heavy part of you - to the Mother, will be equally beneficial. She has made it easy for you, because She doesn't "present Herself" as a man-eating dragon. Her Essence is that of a Mother, taking care of the well-being of all and everything in the universe. In fact, She just represents "Natural Law", teaching us how things are. All life is ruled by "death and rebirth", that's how it is, to acknowledge it is to be realist. Be a Realist, trust the Mother.....On the emotional level we see, that the selfsame Law is operating.  If we are part of the Whole, living a life based on "mindfulness" and eventually "surrender", then our "inner" processes are flowing freely in our inner Space. If, on the other hand, we cling to our emotional complexes, or the other way round, if they dominate us, then, though the mechanism of identification, accumulation is taking place. Cognitive and emotional stagnation are our fate.

The greatest stumbling block, obviously, is the ego e.g. your unconcious! identification with your self-image. The surprise is: surrendering the greatest inner obstacle brings you the "greatest award". It is a matter of balance. If you sacrify your presumed centre of existence, the Mother pays you with corresponding compensation (and much more). She is very just. Not that it is always happening like that, not that you can count on it. It is not a matter of negotiaton, not a deal. The secret is, the more you do it spontaneously, out of "inner innocence", the greater the surprise. The Mother likes to surprise you. She likes to share gifts. Once you give up your ego, the gap is immediately filled up with awareness or Being. In this regard it is important to make a difference between Being as something you use in order to "become more happy", or Being that invites you to become part of its Realm. It is the difference between being attracted by Being, Being calling you, or using Being for your own self-centered purposes. In case of the latter, it is simply your ego hiding itself behind a spiritual image. Be sure, the Mother is seeing through your games, even before you got the idea yourself. It leads to a very fundamental principle. Only if you are totally and uncompromisingly honest e.g. vulnerable, the Cosmic Mother will respond to your requests. You should have the courage to appear before Her entirely naked. The explanation is self-evident. Emptiness is only resonating with emptiness. You have to empty yourself first - or at least have very sincere intentions - in order to contact Mother's Realm. It is like in physics: only wavelengths with the same frequency are potentiating each other. Practising it includes some logical steps. In order to restore contact with (Her) Reality, we first have to intellectually understand it. It is very simple.  Our lives (energy) are embedded in Consciousness (Space, Formlessness), while Consciousness in its turn is sprouting out of Absolute Nothingness. The second step is to actualize this insights in such a way, that they become Realty to us. This starts with reconnecting us to ourselves. Our Reality is part of the greater Reality. What we can "do ourselves" is to become aware (Consciousness). This is only complete, if it contains energy, though. The latter is - as we have learned - the content of the former. Not surprisingly, this is achieved through body-awareness. By watching and feeling the body, we incorporate energy into Space. From that moment on it reflects Cosmic Reality.

It is all about inclusivity. If you identify yourself with Consciousness-only and "forget" to integrate energy (like Vedanta en Zen advocate), then your unity with Reality is only partial. If you only consider "energy" important (like New Age does), you also miss the point. You may compare it with watching and feeling your hand. Watching it, you restore the Consciousness/Space dimension. At the same time you also feel your hand. By doing so, it becomes part of your energy circulation, once again. Both should take place in the selfsame moment. Try it. Can you watch AND feel your hand simultaneously? The only thing left is to realize, that this Consciouness-form complex is continuously born from Absolute Nothingness. It is the Moment, where your inclusivity reflects Cosmic Inclusivity. Because you reflect each other, resonance can take place. The resonance is the Essence of Mother Healing. All channels are open, so Her Cosmic Forces of Creation and Destruction can do the healing work for you. After having tuned in and fitted in, you may additionally want to become "Mother's little helper" (joke). She won't object, because in the newly established Unity, you are Her and She is you. Pre-condition, however, is, that you only act in Moments of great transparency, guaranteeing that no ego residues are in between. What you can add "yourself" to the healing process are aware feeling your breathing, mantra's and visualizations. To start with the latter: human beings don't have entry to Mother's Bottomlessness (only very rare exceptions), that's why you can only visualize Her. So, you can have inner flashes of Her Vastness, Her incredible Closeness and all other intuitions that the Whole grants you.. Don't produce them yourself, just be gratefully open for them. These moments can be supported by mantra's or inner whisperings. Two of my most favorites are "The Mother Heals" and "Death and Rebirth". To make them even more effective, these mantra's are linked to your breathing. While breathing out, your repeat "The Mother", or "Death", while breathing in "Heals" or "Rebirth". Crucial is to be so relaxed, that emphasis spontaneously! lies on the breathing out. Breathing and whispering should completely disappear into the depth of your pelvis.(pelvis being your inner Vessel of Abundance or Holy Grail!).  Everything can be applied in all situations, regardless of the kind of problems, whether they are spiritual (ego, existential Angst), emotional (pain, anger, fear, insufficiencies) or physical (disease). Don't forget that it is all about the "trinity" of "Presence while participating, watching AND feeling, while surrendering to the Mother. By "doing so", the Power of the Mother appears to be limitless.

Conscious identification

The first step in spirituality is to become aware (see chapter "Awakening"). By "stepping back" an inner distance between your (newborn) watching (your True Self) and your inner processes is established. The result is that not only you are freed from identification, but your thoughts, emotions and desires are liberated as well. The more stable you are inside, the more the flow is restored. Now, against the background of dualistic philosophy, only awareness is valued. Hardly any attention is paid to the psyche. In a very subtle way the whole process serves only one goal: to separate the "inner Light" from its "pollutions". It is the old story: identifying yourself with "who you really are" at the expense of what you also are. Subsequently, declaring your inner Presence "Non-Dual" is a joke. The ambition is to climb the ladder towards "higher levels", denouncing the "lower". Many teachers plainly deny the value of the small self. Some call it your "shit". Now, there is clearly a difference between Space and content. E.g. the former is "permanent" (eventually proving not exactly to be the case...), while psychological processes are "impermanent". True healing isn't about cherishing one aspect - however valuable - while "neglecting" the other, though. Healing is about inclusivity, where everything derives its value from being part of the whole, in which everything is interconnected, nothing excluded. The essence of healing is restoring the Wholeness. Some find it difficult to admit. That the Cosmos consists of Space AND content. They are two sides of the same coin, without each other we wouldn't be here. This leads to a re-evaluation of their mutual relationship. We thoroughly disagree with teachers who denounce the value of our "subpersonalities". They consider "playing roles" as being victim to unconscious identification. They claim that through it your Inner Presence is corrupted, not able to "shine" anymore. They say our Being is mutilated, our sincerity seriously questioned. They are the old dualistic purists, the ones who are afraid of the vital forces of life. Their only obsession is the "player", not valueing the toys, necessary for playing. In the end they stand there "fully aware", but no life runs through their veins.

In the eyes of the dualists "being identified" is always proof of ignorance. It is the very problem, the cause of all suffering. So, according to them, identification persé is the culprit. One seems to overlook a most essential point: that only UNCONSCIOUS identication is to blame. By rejecting every identification one remains on the sideline of life, though. No involvement, no commitment, no solidarity with people on the levels THEY are functioning. It is the unwillingness to descend, to incarnate. No immanence is taking place. It is a grave misconception about the Nature of the Divine. The latter is not only transcendent, but also immanent - Omnipresent - in the universe. It is beyond and at the same time IN everything and all. Moreover, as we have seen in the recent past, Enlightenment alone doesn't lead to transformative changes in the outside world. A symptom of the "impotence" of awareness-only. In order to change the world Consciousness should - apart from being the watcher - engage itself. It is the moment, where creativity is asked. How to establish culture-renewal, if we refuse to become actively involved in earthly affairs? While the dualist (calling himself Non-Dual) refuses to descend to the "lower" levels of existence, the true Non-Dualist incarnates him/herself. What is the problem with the dualists? They are afraid to loose their exclusive position, afraid of becoming polluted through "earthly affairs". They have no trust in the Cosmos, that tells them that while being Space, you enjoy the content of your Space. The more you are "not-that" the more you give Space to the forms "to be themselves". You enjoy the play they play. It eventually becomes a Divine Play ("Leela"). Didn't Jesus (contrary to Buddha!) entered the "flesh?" In practice it looks like this. Being totally detached from the content of Space - That What You Really Are - out of total inner freedom, you CONSCIOUSLY choose to identify yourself with a content, of which you know e.g. expect, that it is valuble to the Whole. From that moment on - remaining Space! with its own unique transformative Power - you additionally become co-creator, actively transforming matter. You solidarize with people by taking on THEIR cross. You can do that, because in Essence, it doesn't touch or corrupt your inner Divine Self. The New Buddha Maitreya - from the Chinese Pao Chüan scriptures - is such a person. He descends (after a long period of reluctance...haha) from the Tushita Heaven, in order to save the people. Maybe you are also such a person....

A New Earth

The Parzival legend is all about a "New Heaven" and "A New Earth". In it the land is ruled by Amfortas. This King resides at his court, together with his accumulated wealth. At the same time he is impotent. In the old times it was assumed, that his fertility and that of his country are one and the same thing. Hence, the land had turned into a wasteland, barren, nothing grew on its soil. The people were desperate, suffering from disasters of all kind. The hope was only for one thing: that a new king may arrive. The core of this legend originates in ancient times, at least some tens of thousands of years ago. Its theme is always the same. In order to remain happy, prosperous and peaceful, people have to live in harmony with the Cosmos. The Essence of the Cosmos is continuous "death and rebirth". The priest/king should be a shining example to this principle. In order to secure annual renewal, he has to become a "dying and resurrecting" God. While symbolizing the unity of people and nature, these leaders were also called "Vegetation Gods" or "Green Men". Every year - mostly autumn - they had to die (symbolically), while rising from death in spring. They did this as Son/Lovers to the Great Mother, acknowledging their Origin. It is corresponding with spiritual Truth: the Eternal Light born out of the maternal Darkness. As long as the God complied with Cosmic Law, continuation of the culture was guaranteed. However, if he offended against it, he had to abdicate (or even was brought to death). Major infringements were lack of spiritual insight,  e.g. ignorance about the Source of Eternal Renewal (the Mother), neglect of Cosmic Law,  weak leadership e.g. poor guidance of the people, and last but not least, using his position for self-gratification. Amfortas, the king from the Grail legend is symbolizing this. He is lacking trust in the Mother, not acknowledging, that not he but the Eternal Feminine, is the Ultimate Reality, upon Which (Whom) everything depends. He increasingly denied to be part of a greater Whole, while clinging to his ego. That's why he didn't (truly) live, but also couldn't die. He lives a mediocre life, only pretending that he is a savior. In reality he doesn't offer the people what they desperately need: guidance in the Name of the Greater Whole, the Cosmic Mother.

Teachers who haven't experienced Ultimate Reality aren't able to guide people in times like ours, where "death and rebirth" is at stake. They just hypnotize them with their half-truths, offering more of the same, rather than a radical New Vision of how to Heal the World. Through repeating spiritual "mantra's" they only pretend to offer real solutions. They seem to be entertainers, rather than leaders. A most fruitful thing is to put the current situation in the context of the Grail legend. The whole of society is victim - consciously or unconsciously - of a collective addiction. Spiritually (and not only spiritually), the situation seems to be more hopeless than ever. Contrary to the general opinion, spiritual leaders do make a difference. They are the ones, who "receive the inspiration from above" through which they can enrich people with insights, perspectives and courage, the latter would not acquire alone. Exactly that is almost entirely absent nowadays. If the Source of Renewal is not recognized, how to expect these leaders receiving the right guidance to guide others? The people, seeing this and aware of the shortcomings, increasingly drop the whole idea of leadership. Many quit the scene. "Everyone has his or her own truth". Through massive propaganda some teachers - mostly those who are celebrated by the existing media elite - attract people only as a novelty. Sooner or later people are bored by their "message". They will only use those parts of the teaching, which they can use to feeling better, to cope with the daily stress or to have better chances in their careers. The teacher becomes the victim of his/her own "successes". Very soon he/she is the slave of people's self-centered desires, something that he/she in the beginning of his/her career fulminated against. At last he/she is fully incorporated as part of the existing system. Like everybody else he/she "reconciles" him/herself with the role of.......Amfortas. His mission is corrupted, no way to get his "original purity" back.

I call all current spiritual teachings - no matter how "successful" they are - system-conform.  They raise hope for a breakthrough, but don't keep their promise. They entertain e.g. bind people, the latter who otherwise would be available to real change. That's how these teachers block the opening to a New Era. The Grail Legend connects to the old wisdom of "dying and resurrecting" Gods. A teacher knows intuitively, when his/her "time has come", when he/she cannot bring about a breakthrough. Realizing his/her shortcomings towards realizing a New World "an Amfortas" should therefore take the consequences, "stepping down" voluntarily, while transferring "his" power to his/her successor, Parzival.  In that case, the people will fully respect him/her, understand and forgive his/her (too long a) clinging to his/her power. He/she will be valued for his positive contributions. If not, if he/she clings to his/her position, remaining an obstacle towards a New Step in Evolution, then the new King in spe will do everything to "overthrow" e.g. replace him/her. Until now there are no signs, that the "old kings" of today will give up their privileges. So, where are the Parzivals among us? Who brings about a True Breakthrough, showing the Way Out of the Ego-Catastrophy? What we need are......

Please continue!

JAI MATA DI!
(May the Mother prevail)

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