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"Vision of A New Culture"
The Great Learning

Q & A 4
"Being your Self connected"

Q: Although I am quite happy with myself, I often feel isolated from others. Not in the social sense, but deep down I miss communion on the soul level. Could you please comment on this?
A: To be (unconsciously) identified with your thoughts, emotions and desires excludes communion, not only with your fellow human beings, but also with your deeper Self, the Divine and nature. You are like a child obsessed with its toys.

Q: Could you explain?
A: Your life is self-entertainment. You identify with the I, the self and parts of the self in order not to be confronted with your true Self. The paradox is this: on the one hand the longing (for Unity) is there, while simultaneously being afraid of loosing your identity. You are afraid of emptiness, hence you fill in the gap with anything that you come across. It is the essence of self-obsession.

Q: I have very satisfying relationships, but always of short duration. It is shared interest, that brings us together, but also let us part again.
A: Yes, you share a part of your surface, rather than coming to a deeper commitment. If you are still afraid of your deeper Self, you’re automatically afraid of the depth of contact with others as well. Try the leap into yourSelf and the entire existence will opening ItSelf up to you.

Q: I do bumpy jumping. Is that what you mean?
A: If that is what it is, then you know what I mean (laughed).

Q: My practice of meditation gives me glimpses of my true Self. However, I still feel isolated from my environment. I feel there’s something missing.
A: Well, if your come deeper into yourSelf, but still fail to be connected, then indeed there is reason for having a closer look at your practice. Please, relax, feel the contact of your body with the earth, be the watcher and tell me what you see. After a while:

Q: It is this feeling contact with the earth, that makes the difference. Normally my attention just goes within, without making contact whatsoever.
A: It is just a matter of preconceived ideas. If you think that „self-absorption" is the goal, then you practice introversion. If you think that your aim is opening your Self up to Reality - in which inner and outer are One - then your practice will be different. The miracle is, that the more you restore contact with your body and its direct surroundings, the sooner your awareness will expand. „Heaven and earth" appear to be complementary to each other.

Q: So without including the „earth", self-investigation and meditation are just a kind of self-torture.
A: That is what many people seem to prefer, rather than being liberated. The first is keeping you busy, through the second you suddenly have nothing to do anymore. The criteria for optimal spiritual practice is, that becoming your Self and becoming connected to your environment go hand in hand.

Q: Therefore your motto „being your Self connected?"
A: Right. It happens on various levels simultaneously. Relaxation, opening up to the body runs parallel to expansion of inner space. Then, once the true Self has established it Self, it appears that it is not only your essence, but the Essence of everything alive. Furthermore, once your body is transcended, everything around you - the chair, the carpet, the door, the grass and the trees - appears to be part of the same Space.

Q: I once had an Experience in which I suddenly dissolved in my own Depth. It was indeed vast, limitless and timeless.
A: The meaning of our times in which „everybody is thrown upon oneself" is that the vertical dimension - the relationship between the individual and the Divine - is explored and deepened. People who are able to testify about the true nature of IT, should share their treasure with others (smiled, embraced her).

Q: If you haven’t had such an experience, how could my relationship with others change?
A: By being totally yourself, both „vertically" in restoring the unity with your Self and „horizontally" by being connected to your environment. By doing so you create a context, a matrix in which your relationship will thrive. Relationship isn’t „personal", it is cosmic. It is about restoring the fabric of life, in which all colors, motives, materials etc. appear to be interrelated. Without restoring the matrix, no real relationship will ever be established.

Q: Could you give examples how to achieve these things in daily life?
A: Practice your twofold Origin through a mantra (for instance „part of the Whole") and body(feeling) awareness. Secondly create several situations in which you are alone. Use it for silence, meditation and self-investigation. A special corner or space in the house would be very recommendable. Agree on times of silence between you and your partner, in which you communicate through feeling, body contact, intuition and awareness only.

Q: Maybe I could add something to it. I am married to an Asian woman. She always says „yes" to my remarks, also in cases where we would say „no". For instance, when I say: „it isn’t cold, isn’t it?" she doesn’t say „no", like we do, but „yes". In the beginning this was strange to me, but after a while I understood the meaning of it. Asians do not resonate with what you say, but with you, the sayer. That means, rather than conforming the remark, they are conforming the person behind. The „yes" expresses the joy that you are there.

A: Yes, it takes away lots of potential useless discussions. What also could help here is to simply repeat what the other is saying. If she says: „I so much enjoyed our trip today" your answer could be (rather than saying „me too"): "o, did you enjoy it". By conforming each other, opening yourself up to your partner in daily things, your relationship will become much more peaceful, gentle. The chance that it deepens is correspondingly.

Q: Could you also extend these principles to love- and sexlife?
A: Sexlife is not something apart from daily life. It you restore the matrix everything appears to be inclusive. This very inclusiveness is love. Love is the celebration of Unity which is always there. It is a matter of Being rather than doing, let alone the ugly „making".

Q: In love I often become more quiet, rather than excited. In the beginning I thought there was something wrong, but recently I understood that this might well be the „gate to Heaven".
A: Okay, these are the basics. First create an environment with gentle colors, smell, the quality of light, candles or music. Then you reunite with your own body, become aware of it, feel it. Feel it in contact with the bed, the sheets. After a while your direct surroundings - including your lover - appear to be an extension of your body-awareness. Senses become more subtle. Relax and do nothing.

Q: Nothing? (laughter)
A: You train yourself in becoming the cool ocean, in which a hot spring continuously erupts and returns. You become the space in which excitement comes and goes. The more aware you become, the more you will understand the positive feedback between innner clarity and desire. Expansion and excitement go hand in hand. Then, when non-doing has established itself, you unite with each other. The paradox is „the more excited you become, the more relaxed". (of course men don’t ejaculate). It is the reversal of the common „climbing the mountain". Suddenly both become One with the Eternal Valley, a timeless and limitless Space. It is an „orgasm" like you have never experienced before. One warning: don’t start trying, but let it happen! (laughed).

Q: Is this what they call tantra?
A: Yes, it is. As you have seen, in tantra „energy" is only secondary. Rather than to focus on it, you let it dissolve in Heavenly Space. 2)
2. For the difference between tantra and kundalini, see 3.Initiation.

Q: I could imagine, that if this kind of quality becomes part of one’s relationship, it would have its effects on the community as a whole. Please, comment.
A: We have entered a decisive stage in which Self-realization has to flow into a new kind of community. It is the upgrading without which everything will further degenerate. Keeping IT for yourself is a sin against humanity, against life. The Ultimate, the Space in Which everything is, has to be shared with everyone, nobody and nothing excluded.

Q: Isn’t there a special task for women here?
A: Through patriarchy we were always obsessed with society, corporations and the state. In these times in which the old framework is loosening up, it becomes increasingly (and painfully) evident, that community is the looser here. Rather than trying to make career in „society", women could see their chance in fulfilling a leading role in restoring our communities.

Q: Don’t they loose the chance to gain real power?
A: You should restore your own powerbase first, reclaiming your spirit, body and souls, your families, your street, the neighborhood, the commune and your region. Being your Self connected, establishing concentric circles from the center to the periphery, everything will become integrated in a new model of society.

Don’t hesitate, do it.

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Last revising: 08/15/04