The Original Great Mother Tradition
Mother Worship

MatriTalks 13

LOVE & SEX

Questions & Answers
with
Han Marie Stiekema Sermes

Q. Love and sex obviously have been extensively elaborated by lots of specialists during many decades. What interests me, is what the "Mother" could contribute to this topic?

A. Well, actually, the Mother is not the one, Who is contributing to love, She is the very Source of it.

Q. Are you saying, that the Mother could bring "good news" to people, who feel deprived of love, who experience problems in relationship and who are desperate to find satisfying sex?

A. The irony is, that the Mother used to be the "cause" of the suppression of love and sex during many centuries. In Her time - the time of ancient matriarchy - love and sex were sacred. Once Christianity had established itself as successor to the Mother Religion, it "had" to destroy every memory of the Mother. It is the main explanation for the churches' misogyny.   

Q. The fear of the church, that the Mother Religion would have a comeback?

A. In fact, this is the churches' secret obsession, yes. That's why they made lots of concessions to the people. It were the people who forced the church to declare Mary the "Mother of God", later followed by "Queen of Heaven", which in fact were the Mothers' titles before Christianity took over.

Q. So, may you consider the Mother to be the protectress of love and sex?

A. Absolutely, and Her Compassion is very much about helping people to reclaim their love life and sexual joys.

Q. How?

A. Her main "task" will be to reconnect love and sex to the sacred. Moreover, love is unconditional, something that only a Mother can represent. The "Father's" love on the other hand, is always conditioned by rules, restrictions, sanctions, condemnations and guidelines. Love and sex are related to masculine fear of being overpowered. Hence, patriarchy always suppressed it. This phenomenon is not limited to Christianity only, it is universal. 

Q. Okay, I understand what you mean. But isn't there a good reason for it as well? Men basically cannot cope with the orgasmic potentiality of women. That is a fact.

A. Relationships based on "having" are always doomed to fail. In the past both men and women have been exploiting each other, thinking in terms of demands, rather than "serving each other". It is a.o. the reason for the sharp increase in homosexuality. Understandably.

Q. I have heard, that at the time of the Mother, around 5000 years ago, women used to be the ones, who initiated men in sacred temple sex. Is that what you mean by reconnecting sex to the sacred?

A. First of all, one has to understand the situation we are in. Our relationships are largely based on mutual exploitation. The reason is the "inability to Be". Because of this - the absence of a True Self - compensation is sought in "having", in trying to possess each other. This is the root of the misery.

Q. In fact, a deeply spiritual problem?

A. Having can never compensate Being. Hence, your chronic dissatisfaction, frustration and discord in relationship. It is a vicious circle. The more you want (need), the more frustrated you become. The solution can only be found at another level: that of Being. The Mother can be of great help here, because "Being" proves to be Her Light Body. Reconnecting to the Source - it has to be said many times - is the most needed step here.

Q. Obviously, there are many other problems playing a role in relationships - finances, character, education, work - which may additionally worsen the situation, isn't it?

A. Certainly, this cannot be overlooked either. Later I will elaborate on this as well. For now, I like to emphasize the importance of the Great Mother. Contrary to the worldly situation, Her Love always remains abundantly available. For instance, your biological mother didn't give you the love you needed. Once adult, your chances are gone to get compensation for it. In contrast, you may turn to the Mother, asking for love at any time in your life. With the help of Her Love, you will have a "second chance" to become a loving person yourself.

Q. Isn't Tantra* also an attempt to reintroduce the sacred in sex?

A. That attempt failed miserably already. Like everything else, it fell victim to the forces of exploitation and vulgarization. The workshops offered are merely excuses for having a "great time" with sex and the rest. If, on the other hand, you dedicate your love and sex life to the Mother - an uncorrupted and incorruptible Source - the sacredness of your intimacy will be guaranteed. I really would suggest you to integrate your love life with Mother Worship. F.i. before every time you are going to make love, visit your Home Shrine together and dedicate your love to Her. She will "pay you back" a thousand times. 

* Click for the real Tantra

Q. Nowadays, there are female guru's, calling themselves "Mother". Becoming a disciple, could that become an option as well?

A. First of all, despite the fact, that those guru's are identifying themselves with "the Mother", one should realize, that the Cosmic Mother is of a totally different Dimension. The former is an identification with a certain role, while the latter is the Ultimate Reality, the All-Embracing Motherly Principle, governing the entire universe. Identifying yourself with the guru, may be certainly (very) beneficial for a while. The disadvantage is, that you may project the concept of "the Mother" too much into a human being, something that could block your surrender to the Real Thing.   

Q. What about these social factors we have been talking about?

A. Well, it will be of no surprise, that the time of transition we are in, makes itself felt in this area as well. We have thus to prepare ourselves for a set of unexpected developments.  

Q. Like what?

A. First of all, there is this historic relic, called monogamy. It is not wrong in itself - the desire of two people living together - but the underlying structure is. It is widely known, that it served men in their desire to protect their property (including "sex rights"), together with the right of passing the birth rights to their sons. The remainders of the underlying structure have to be removed. Obviously, this isn't applied to actual marriage. A unique bond between two people is a true treasure. Apart from that, there seems to be a dramatic worldwide development going on. Asian studies have revealed, that the fertility of males has gone down to 50% generally. The consequences of this (irreversible!) process could be quite revolutionary. One way of adjusting to the situation - in order to guarantee human procreation - is revision of marriage. Instead of monogamy, polyandry (one woman with more men) could very well become the most logic answer to the problem. The surprise is, that this corresponds to a development mentioned earlier, called the "Caribbean model".

Q. Do you really think this has a chance?

A. It is corresponding to the desire of women, to reclaim their central position in the community on the one hand, and to the desire men feel of having taken away the burden of (excessive) responsibility (for one family) on the other. In the beginning, this idea will meet resistance, obviously. But after a while, when the emotions have calmed down and people looking at their real interests, yes I think it could be a very "creative" solution, indeed. And moreover, I am sure, the Mother will be very much agreeing with it.

Q. The Mother will certainly have a quiet sleep, but I won't.

A. Ever heard of a Mother making revolution?

Long live Her revolution!

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Last revising: 02/07/10