My excuses for the fact that major corrections to this text are direly necessary. They will be carried out as soon as possible |
Chapter
5 |
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| 1. PREFACE
2. INTRODUCTION
3. MY
CHILDHOOD The beginning School Natural medical doctor 4. ON
THE "OTHER SIDE" Prophecy 6. DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL Abandonment 7. THE
SACRED VALLEY The Descent Looking back 9. HEALING THE PLANET Lament 10. THE GREAT MOTHER (Re)discovery 11. TURN ON Great Mother Hymn 12. EPILOGUE Being Available
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1. I, a Fully Awakened One Explanation: De Ultimate Reality is the Bottomless Void of existence: the vacuum, the Great Mother, the Matrix. In the Deepest Dark nothing exists anymore. It is the Dark Valley of the Cosmos, the Gaping abyss of it Al. The dizzying Last reality is Unknowable. In the Bottomless Womb of the Eternal, the Great Oblivion Governs. There is no Consciousness. In this Emptiness all Being disappears while at the same time arises from it. This eternally being Born happens in the Utmost Turning point of the Great Void, without any active creation act. It is a Being-jump from the Utmost Nothing. The Nothing creates-not from the Ultimate Not-Being. Being arises without it arising, all Being – the Divine – becomes relative through this. It is uncreated creation. It comes forth and returns, whilst it in Itself is also Eternal and unchanging. In this Final Reality we shall also return. Including our consciousness – part of the Great Being – dissolves eventually. That we shall (can) not be known. In the Absolute Nothingness Total Oblivion rules. 2. paying reverence to Explanation: The Ground of Being of existence is Completely Transparent, without any substance. It is so rarefied that it penetrates all of existence in an Invisible Manner. Consciousness is omnipresent; it is the Reality of the Divine. It is an Unutterable Dimension that comes before the Nothing. It comes through the Absolute Nothing without it being created. It returns, whilst at the same time is unchangeable. In Its Complete Clarity it is ungraspable. It is the Dimension of the Highest Realisation, The Perfect Transparency. Completely dissolved you become one with the Ultimate Ground of Being. The Groundless Ground of living. The Valley of Perfect Peace, The Complete Unification with the intangible, in Oneness with the Bottomless Primal Ground you are the Eternal Unmoveable Unchangeable. It is the condition of subtle equality, simplicity and Original Freshness. It is the Home land. All consciousness, substance and energy are peacefully merged with the Omnipresent. In this Dissolved State there is no longer a notion of own-ness. ‘In the Eternal Moment I AM, Endless and Boundless’. You know Being from the inside, there is a Knowing on the Great Consciousness in Its True Form. 3. prostrating Myself also to Explanation: In the following two Dimensions there is Light and Darkness – still Perfectly United in the unfathomable Primal Ground – separated. Here you experience the Dying aspect of Being. It is the mirror of the Original Vacuum, the Expression of primordial Destruction, and an Ecstatic Horridness in Its Naked Form. The Dimension of Hyperactive Relief is the Great Solution in the black Nothingness. In the Hell of total Annihilation the transitory disappears: your mortal I, body and psyche. In this Quality of Being everything is purified. A loss of all identity arises. In the Complete Demolishment you experience the Primal Fear of existence. The Great Dying. It is the opposite of the Light, part of the Eternal Primordial Balance of Demolition and Rebuilding. The Despair for ever disappears into the Deep Darkness, continuously balancing on the rim of Oblivion. Nothing to grasp on to, only the utter alertness of your consciousness can save you, only the Greatest clarity can keep you upright in the Ocean of Fear. It is the Total and Absolute Purification. It is consciousness lifted up beyond fear: forced to be just as intense boundless and timeless, and then you have survived it. From here on in everything if New. Everything regained its original freshness, every step is the first. Dying and Being Born Again. 4. also paying reverence to Explanation: This is the Light. The Light that we are, the Great Illumination (Enlightenment). It is the Dimension of Ecstatic Joy, The transcendence of our entire existence. Here we are absorbed in the Body of God. Everything is dissolved in that One Great Light, boundless and timeless. It is inclusive, nothing is excluded from It, and a blade of grass stays ever so much a blade of grass in the Divine Nature as we remain as we are. Everything bathes uninterrupted in the Living Light. In the Light Life Dances Its Eternal Dance. It is unspeakable. You experience it directly without interference of yourself. You taste it without a tongue, feel it without touch, see it without eyes and hear without ears. In the Divine Fluidic space all dividing walls between everything have dissipated. Everything exists in an Absolute and Watertight Security. You are submerged in an extraordinary revelation, In that which Continuously Is. The entire universe is bathed in a Sea Lighting Rain, a Nectar sweet Jelly. An Ecstatic Joy has taken hold on you. Being embedded gives a Blissful Ecstasy. The entire world lifted from its foundations, uplifted to an Extraordinary State. You are in- and outside of yourself, drunk on God. It is the Reality of Continuous Renewal. The Light is the Matrix of all energy. It is the Great Sea in which everything is submerged. Everything – the visible and the invisible world – comes forth from it and returns to it. When you are in the light the world itself does not its own substance. In itself it is nothing; she’s a shadow, non-existent. 5. prostrating Myself also to Explanation: This is the birth of your true Self if Consciousness unveils itself to your innerness: the Emanation, the Heart, the Divine Spark in you, everything inside you has fallen silent. It suddenly happens amongst all activity. ‘All of a sudden everything dropped off me.’ An implosion in the explosion also known as Satori or minor Enlightenment, Joy, ecstasy and dance. Rapture from a silent Awareness (Presence), Unending Power from a peaceful and unmoved centre, limitless energy from an indefinable Centre. Pure Gestures from a Perfect Balance, a flood from an inexhaustible Source. An inner Fire from a Cool Heart, Intoxication from an Inner Pureness. A Flooding water of living Love making everything around it fertile. A Source of intuitive wisdom, compassion and dynamic effort, deployment, employment. Here you find anew the playfulness and spontaneity of the unborn Spirit. Here you experience the partner of the God creation and enjoy the game of the visible reality around us. 6. paying reverence to Explanation: In becoming aware of consciousness you experience the switch from unconscious imprisonment in everything that happens within you to being in awareness. It is the most fundamental step: from ignorance, being imprisoned, self addiction and darkness to clarity of your true self. It is the first ‘outpost’ for the Great Consciousness, in the Divine spec of Light within you. All else (mentioned above) is oblongated to this. That’s why there isn’t a more important step then this one. Consciousness for that reason is only measured by this. Awareness is accessible for everyone; everyone can ‘attain’ it. It can’t be any simpler. It is simply being awareness, conscious being present, in the Here and Now, in the Moment. Being in Awareness isn’t discriminating or selective. When you are in Awareness, you are in Awareness for everything, there is no exception. There is nothing of yourself between it, you respond directly and in complete communion with your environment. This responding directly to the needs of the world is the core aspect of compassion. 7. prostrating Myself also to Explanation: Being captured in himself, being cut off from himSelf and the reality is suffering. This is called existential alienation. You live out of your periphery, cut off from your innerness, your core. Because you’ve lost the connection with your centre, you are a play ball to everything that occurs to you. You are continuously taken along on the towing line of your thinking, emotions and longings. Because you miss the stability of the centre, these impulses continuously grip you, they own you. You can only run after them – like a dog after a sausage – or turn it down. In both cases you are being determined by them. It is being swung to and fro between often conflicting impulses and striving. With a lack of insight life is like a maze, a labyrinth of pointlessness. A pointless life that continuously leads to greater desperation, any ‘remedies’ don’t work. Because you are lacking the Source, working creates tiredness, a distraction, boredom, ambition, disappointment and pleasure frustration as a result. Within the small self there is no way out of suffering. 8. finally paying reverence to
EExplanation: The reality of the Cosmos and nature is a self regulating web of coherence, through which we are connected with our bodies. Our presence is a result of a materialised probability, of a selective causality. We are not a necessary component in it, the Cosmos functions entirely without us. We are not the ‘crowning achievement of creation’ or ‘the purpose of evolution’. Rather the opposite is true. Nothing in the entire creation if further removed from God then we are. By our historical process of I development added self estrangement by our unconscious identification we are cut off from our Source. This is in contradiction with the rest of nature. In the first phase of evolution – at first ‘concentric ring’ – the origination of the primordial elements: fire, gas, air, water and earth. They are closest to the Primal Ground, out of this first life was derived: viruses, bacteria, one celled organisms, fungi, mosses and plants. They make-up the second evolutionary ring and as such still very close to the Source, only after that come the animals and finally us people. We find ourselves on the periphery of the concentric evolutionary process, in which everything eventually (and continuously) returns to the Ultimate. 9. I, a Fully Awakened One Claim Explanation: The Perfectly Awakened One is the one who has experienced all Dimensions of consciousness, realised… and let go. He *) Knows. He knows his true Mother/ Father. He is completely aware of his heritage, destination and assignment. The Awakened One is being carried by permanent and unspeakable Joy. At the deepest core he is emptiness, that’s why he transmits ‘nothing’. He is Free from everything, that’s why he is here for Everyone. He lets all suffering exist without suffering from it himself. Life pulsates and that is how Consciousness reveals itself to him: An ever changing quality being himSelf in connectivity. Every Moment Is as It Is. Such a man is like a flower, he distinguishes himself by his natural and spontaneous manner of being open. Corresponding to his abilities, nature and personality Consciousness can be seen in him in different forms. However only for those who can see, that can resonate with him. The Awakened One lives life to its fullness. He will not cultivate or force his enlightenment, the fully Realised Being will uninterruptedly guard, that this quality is not being used for self-righteous means. He will not avoid difficulties on his path, everything is acknowledged in full acceptance. He doesn’t allow himself to be placed on a pedestal, he is not special. He can associate himself with anything freely, in conformity of what is required of him by the given situation. In this process he won’t neglect the needs or the importance of the little I. *) She/ her 10. Mediating between past and future Dharma Explanation: We are all from a two folded origination: the Primordial Ground and Earth. In our Earthly existence these two are similar. It is the given knowledge of every day life, all spirituality, experience and Realisation: Our spirit has her home in the Primordial Ground whilst our body is a part of nature. By being rooted in the Earth and by giving back our spirit to Heaven we come into our centre, the Heart, the Source of selfless love and compassion. The inner dynamic of true spirituality and religion is restored through that. in the course of this we are freed from dead end road to ‘salvation’ and ‘freedom’ of the old religions, the road is freed. Being yourSelf in connectivity is what it is all about at the Core. The forms of (daily) meditation that cultivate ‘feeling awareness’ (see further), can help in this process. Becoming whole on an individual level and all else around us is the reason of life. Integration of complimentary opposites, including and reconciling of aspects or parties left out. Resolving conflict, that is the mission for current times: restoring of oneness of life in diversity, openness and the experience of it in union with all that lives. 11. having said so I proclaim the Universality of Explanation: The First and most decisive step in becoming Aware is the realisation of Self alienation, being separate from the Source. The point here is a real existential experience. This has very little to do with trends such as ‘spiritual growth’. Visualizing of the ‘True Self’ is still conjuring an image, a fantasy, a judgement of the little self. The real Self however is of another dimension. It is the realisation of a different reality. Only an honest and thorough self inquiry, if which you settle with the many forms of self deceit and illusion can only help you getting further. Are you truly in your true Self or are you only suggesting it to yourself? Do we really know the difference between standing ‘in the naked truth of who we are’ and the experience of identification with a concept or a presumption? If you totally identify with something or someone, then that is what you become. This however is ‘pseudo-spirituality’, as modern day table talk everywhere willing to rant. The (painful) self realisation of being separated from the Source is how ever (usually) a reliable criterion for the authenticity of the longing to ‘return to the Source’. Here the realisation helps that ‘continuously you are being pulled’. Remember everything comes – forth at the same Moment – and returns in to the Great Consciousness. We only have to open ourselves to it. 12. instead of trying to escape from desire Explanation: Insight in your real condition is the guarantee for walking the right path. With that it’s not hard to see, that you are not only disconnected from the Source, but also with other vital parts of yourself. By unconscious identification with everything that arises in you (thoughts, emotions and desires) you’ve lost the contact with your body and its direct environment, your unprocessed emotions (fear, pain, anger and lust for life), next to your unconscious feelings, talents and possibilities. The answer to this is becoming aware and integration. In this it helps to have an understanding in the functioning of your personality. This consists out of your I and countless of sub-personalities, each with their own thought processes (world of thought), emotional life, striving and experiences. Nothing is strange to you: you are the caring mother as well as the dependent child, the ambitious one as well as the layabout, the hero and the coward, the loving one as well as the egotist, the staring one as well as the exploiter in you. They are all aspects of you. The last ones are you experiential worlds, whilst ‘I’ is the reflection, which which as a reaction gives comments, judges, interprets, differentiates and orders. ‘Problems’ are unaccepted parts. Sayings Yes, embrace becoming conscious, acknowledge and love of everything that arises within you, is the road to greater wholeness. 13. descending into the realm of interdependency Explanation: Being yourSelf in connection is the core of your awareness process. It is being characterized by synchronicity. So it isn’t so, that you ‘first work at yourself’, to ‘later’ put compassion to practice. Being in attention is of course Being in Attention. Everything takes place in the Here and Now. In that friendship can play a very important role, friendship is a quality of the Heart. It is based on affection, spontaneity, acceptation and reciprocity, generosity and joy. Friendship brings forth the best in you. You can entirely be yourself, whilst at the same time you feel strongly connected. Feelings play a decisive role. By feeling you restore the connection with your environment. The horizontal dimension becomes the extension of the vertical – conscious attention. Integrated it is one quality: The feeling awareness in consciousness. It can add a new dimension to a friendship. In practise it comes down to ‘Look (see, observe) and feel’. A first step is your body- and contact awareness. With an open receiving attention you allow the awareness and with that the contact with your near environment. Feel your behind in connection with the chair, then the chair ‘becomes an extension of your body’, it becomes ‘one with it’. Through the body a quality of connectedness arises, that transcends all other forms of connectedness. If you continue along this path everything will become an extension of you. Everything – including your body – turns out to be part of one great spaciousness. It is the basis for all real friendships and compassion. 14. seeing the effects of ignorance of many kalpas Explanation: The continuing de-integration and chaos in which we find ourselves, portraits the inner crisis of humanity. It can be seen in for example the environment. The ‘environment’ shows where we have become stuck, as a result of almost 20 millennia of (consequent) repression of Self realisation and or connectedness with the Earth (“To exalt yourself is arrogance’ and ‘Earthly love is unfaithful to God’) we westerners have an extreme focus on the intellect and the outside world. ‘Having’ serves as a compensation for a lack of inner life. Having is the inability to Be. This complete upheaval can bring forth a Light for us. In the shock of painful realisation of total demolition we can come to our Selves. We are the environmental problem. No other species has brought about so much harm to himself and their surroundings. So it is the most urgent of times that we confront ourselves with who we really are. An honest and thorough self enquiry has the highest priority, if we want to learn from this crisis, in interest of ourselves and the entire planet. If we open ourselves to our inner reality: cut-off from our Source and the truth around us; de truth that therefore doesn’t sink in any more, and our inability to feel and experience compassion, then out of this new insight the possibility of a reversal can take place. 15. hence the Bodhisattvas Explanation: The double Origin is de living stream of true spirituality and religion, the fertile ground of your existence. The individual experience of loving surrender to the Primal Ground has a centre position in this. It is the utmost consequence of your new insight: if you are truly a part of the whole, you can only truly live from that Reality. There is no other way. Your experiences through your separated self have without a doubt (more then) painfully let you feel it. Your being double rooted: in first instance giving back your spirit to the Primal Ground and with your body rooted in the Earth, is your balance – the primal balance – out of which everything emerges: living from your Heart, self insight, the soul connection with your environment, the giving of purpose of and to the task in this life. In the beginning on this Path self-centredness was centre position, gradually you are going to experience that ‘you are being pulled’. You long ever much so to the Oneness as the Oneness longs for you. Progressively your trust grows in the ‘other force’ with her ‘promise’ to take you within It. 16. looking at ourselves without
any conclusion Explanation: The process of integration does not stop with ourselves. In continuing interaction with our environment can we (shall we) expand our inner achievements step by step. In China this process has been known for 2000 years. The Confucian classic text ‘The Great Learning’ (400 BC!) describes this path. This text states as follows: “The elders which wanted their superb virtue to shine through in the world, brought firstly their state matters in order. To bring the country governing board in order, they regulated firstly their personal relations. Because they wished to bring their personal relations in order, they worked firstly on their own selves.” Personal and social integration fall into conjunction with each other here. In this it’s important to keep your insight, compassion and inner strength, or increase it. The logic is simple and clear, but with the practical application of it we (still) have no experience, social renewal as a consistent wholeness and integration process is new. Our despair has however become visible on all levels now. That’s the reason for the necessity of our involvement and commitment from our Heart to our family, our neighbourhood, the work place, the community and for example the entire region. You can’t skip any phases in this process. The stake is a righteous community for and of all living beings © 1999 copyright by Han M. Stiekema.
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