Natural medical doctor
THE "OTHER SIDE"
6. DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
9. HEALING THE PLANET
10. THE GREAT MOTHER
11. TURN ON
Great Mother Hymn
At this point I feel that I
must make a confession. Besides all the blessings of the increasing wholeness, there was a
problem that continued to haunt me. Despite (or because of) the enlightened state, there
was very little religious feeling. You do not have to turn to the Divine when
in Essence you ... Are It. So I didnt miss it. However, the support from my Being
was often very thin, the feeling of being abandoned far too often overshadowed, so much
so, that I had the feeling of being to the whims of circumstance. Walking around in the
wasteland with my Enlightenment under my belt it did not always
bring me what I expected it to. The risk arose of identifying myself with my
inner Attainment. It gave cause to constant inner struggle. Especially in
times of separateness, from fatigue, excessive thinking or no resonance with
my surroundings, it arose. Here the saying applies: "if you are not it, then you work
towards mastering it. The temptation then is simply great to start boasting about
it. After all, you know that you encompass the entire universe. Not with your intellect,
but by the Ultimate Realisation ItSelf. This awareness is continuously there.
Increasingly, the fearful vision of an endless struggle arose in me, thus wondering
whether this would continue until end.
You can compare it to a house; the furniture in the room
exists by the grace of the surrounding space. In the same way the Ultimate Void gives
birth to the Divine and the universe, while the latter continuously return into
Her. So there are two permanent cosmic forces: that of manifestation and that
of returning to the Source. There are constantly turning points arising. If you are in a
state of Enlightened Wholeness for a time, then it will sooner or later swing to meet his
opposite. You will then temporarily thrown back onto yourself. From a
spiritual standpoint the Mother thus gives you the opportunity to face your
self-centeredness and unprocessed parts with the aim of still integrating them into
your New Identity.
The Great Mother transforms our deepest fears into liberation
I embody the tradition of the
Great Mother with
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT/GRATITUDE"In the beginning of my career (1972) I hardly had any understanding of "spirituality". On the contrary, after religion was forced upon me as a child, I resolutely rejected everything related to it.
Soon after You sent a wise man to me with Your prophecy about my future mission (1972), consisting of the Parcival Legend as the underlying dynamism ("archetype") of my entire spiritual life.
I was a little giggly about it, since this came to me as from another world. Hence, I didn't pay any attention to it at all. Shortly after the "incident" was forgotten.
In the mean time, You granted me extra-ordinary talents as a (holistic) medical doctor, to the benefit of many. The energy You granted me was well spent. With ceaseless enthousiasm I devoted myself to natural medicine.
In my personal relationship a lot had to be learned though. This was proportional to all that "I had to endure", which wasn't little. After having reached rock bottom You came to rescue me.
As a consolation You sent me a dream in which it was guaranteed, that I would certainly arrive in the Light, anyway with the obligation to subsequently become fertile.
Not that I experienced this as an "instruction from above". At that time I had no idea at all, that You or whoever was behind it. Only now - in retrospect - I realize that I as a part was directed by the Whole.
You helped me in taking a new step in awareness by sending me Karl Graf Dürckheim on my Path, who taught me the way of awakening (Zen) e.g. the discovering of my true Self.
After that - while I was taking a rest in between the consultation hours - You showed me Your Grail Vision (1974), something that deeply moved me. The meaning: "Awaken!, restructure your life and serve others" would become the guideline for the rest of my life.
Only realizing much later that it contained Your Message to the world (1974), after some time being followed - also without any doing on my part - by Your instructions to writing the Ultimate Sutra (1978).
Next, thanks to Your unimaginable Grace - and facilitated by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh - suddenly and totally unexpected You granted me the unique Threefold Realization, consisting of destruction of my entire existence ("Absolute Nothingness"), immediately followed by dissolution into Your Eternal Light Body ("Full Enlightenment"), together with descending into the Underworld, which is Your Destruction Body ("Great Death") (1977).
As if this wasn't enough, You granted me ten years of uninterrupted Bliss (1977-1987), again with Great Experiences and a carefree life - living in the Eternal Moment (as a "lily in the field") - in which I was wandering around as "God's fool".
This innocence was put to an end though. As had been predicted by the Vision You then have let me suffer tremendously for many years (1987-2002), in which I had to integrate the suppressed parts of my old self into the New Identity.
It was a time in which I was simultaneously painfully confronted by "the world", a period in which, again by Your limitless Blessings, I was also able to write down the stages of the spiritual Path (The Integral Way), not to mention all other writings (The Great Learning) for which You gave me inspiration. Thanks to You my teachings have become universal.
You know my vanities and my need for recognition already before I was confronted by them. It consisted(s) of the temptation of using Your gifts for my own purposes. Because You knew how weak I was to this, You let me enter into this struggle entirely by myself.
To use Enlightenment for your own purposes is the greatest temptation a human being can become confronted with. I was blessed, that I was always keenly aware of the true nature of this struggle. Only after I was put with my back against the wall, You held out a hand to me.
It consisted of revealing YourSelf - Cosmic Vacuum e.g. Emptiness beyond Emptiness - to me as the Dimension beyond the Light. Through this insight I understood, that Enlightenment is not the Ultimate...through which the obsession was dropped.
Contrary to the Light you cannot realize, possess or attain the Vacuum. You may only entrust, surrender or devote yourself to It. That's why not Self-realization, but devotion is the highest stage in spirituality. Praise the Mother!
I originate from Her ("son") while continuously returning ("lover"). This is the greatest thinkable gift e.g. the ultimate joy. It is what I Really Am. Hence, I proudly bear the name Solo ("Son/Lover").** Solo is existential; Sermes is functional. The general name for people in the Great Mother tradition is "Mother-Worshipper" ("MoWo") or "Original". The latter because they are relating themselves to the True Origin.
As if this wasn't enough, You sent Teresa of Avila ("Magistra Universalis")* to me "to take care of me" (joke). You granted me her as my spiritual sister, a gift for which I am immensely grateful. With unflagging zeal she teaches me what is most difficult to me: surrender.
* I am grateful to all those, who inspired me on my spiritual Path, in particular also Shinran Shonin and Jodo-Shinshu Buddhism, because of their emphasis on "Other Power".
Most of all, I am grateful to Sri Ramakrishna because of his life of devotion to the Mother. His Being is my Being (and all other Being....). His example resonates with my deepest longing and gives me the courage to make the last step in my life: a life of utter surrender to the Great Mother.
I am happy - in an earlier phase of my life - to have written down all "my great ideas". At least I have fullfilled my obligations toward society. The reality of everyday life is namely, that I - despite myself - become smaller all the time and my aims accordingly. "Not my will, but Thy Will will be done".
The fact that the worries (for tomorrow) are dropped, is a good sign. That I needed such a detour is giving cause to great humility - which says everything about my obstinate character - in order to eventually end up with simplicity.
Beside it You are confronting me again and again with my greatest weakness: the desire for recognition. In no uncertain terms You make me clear, that self-centeredness and love are excluding each other. O, what a regret and remorse. Will I ever learn?
Until you created an environment (three months stay in Santa Monica, CA), in which you were guiding me in an amazing way toward complete inner integration, while preparing the next step in life. Re-connecting my life to the archetypical masculine (The Green Man), while committing myself to the crisis mankind is in ("Healing the Planet in 7 Steps"), resulting in regaining my original strength, while confirming my mission.
Finally, again after suffering and struggle, I became aware of the fact, that You understand me far better than I do myself. That "I don't have to do it myself anymore". From that moment on I started to give everything out of hands, trusting that You will take care of it. Ever since - after 65 years - true peace has taken possesssion of me.
What a luck that You make me continuously aware of the fact that only a life of surrender to You, in which I will never cease to praise, to honor and to thank You for all the exceptional Blessings, bestowed by You upon me, is the only and ultimate fulfillment".
The last stage has only just begun. Through the Grail Chalice the Mother showed me the ultimate purpose of life: to unconditionally pouring myself out e.g. loving all "living and non-living beings". On this Path I am still a beginner and will always be. I always look at the Mother: how She is pouring HerSelf out.
Humility and joy are two sides of the same coin.
Praise the Mother! Gratitude.
By the Grace of the Great Mother, the All-Embracing Cosmic Womb, Queen of Heaven, Mother of God
Excursion: Teresa of Avila
In Teresa of Avila all mystical qualities come together. She distinguished herself by exemplary behaviour on almost all walks of life: spiritual and secular, including openness, honesty, insight, subtlety, effectiveness, courage, devotion, humor, compassion and strength. In addition, she was also a child of her time. Hence, for example, she had no other choice than to express herself in accordance with the rules of the church. In fact, her Enlightened State was beyond every thought or belief. Her lifelong struggle played out between "being herSelf" and the requirements of the institution in which she participated. This was not very easy, since the scourge of the Inquisition in all its severity went round. Much of her work must therefore be read between the lines. Other passages comprise more or less of open criticism of the church, the Inquisition, the inferior position of women etc. In particular, her practice of inner prayer was at some point considered suspicious (...), because of the danger of quietism realizing the Divine! (condemned as Illuminism). This became particularly evident if you compare her two (three) versions of The Way of Perfection*. The first ( Escorial) is still (relatively) candid and carefree, in the second (Valladolid), many of these open passages were censored. And then to imagine that with the first version the Inquisition had been peering over her shoulder, already! This leads to the (widespread) belief that all true mystics are in fact universal. Deep inside they belong to no religion. This is confirmed by the fact that all mystics speak the same language, regardless of their (forced) formal membership of a particular religion **. Look at Eckhart, Suso, Ruusbroec, Rumi, Ibn Arabi, Kabir, Sri Ramakrishna and countless others. Teresa distinguishes by being able to excellently deal with it, her path is an Integral Path in the true sense of the word. That is why we honor this exceptional Mystic, Enlightened Teacher (and Doctor of the Church ...) with the title she deserves: Magistra Universalis.
* See "Collected Works of Teresa of Avila", translated by E. Allison Peers.
I recognize so much in Teresa, that I am repeatedly struck by it. It starts with biographical details. It stems from the so-called conversos, a mixture of Spaniards and Jews. I stem from a Spaniard who deserted (about the same time that Teresa lived) and after the withdrawal of the Spaniards in the Netherlands he stayed behind. Like me she also loved to knights tales and had in all likelihood read Parcival. This inspired her to write The Inner Castle. A major obstacle on the way to surrendering for her was overcoming her pride, something I know all too well from my own life. Then her inborn motive for reform, life in her first monastery was far too easy for her, hence the founding of a new order based on the original rule. Tying in to the tradition - and therefore transforming the present reality - is something which is a core part of my teaching. Then her Great Experiences, everything she describes in her book, I can confirm from my own experience, often down to the smallest details. It leads time and again to moments of great emotion. Joy and tears then arise in me. So I cant get enough of always opening a book of hers. Reading a small piece is often enough. There is so much that immediately arises, that shortly after I put the book away. I share her uncompromising passion for the Truth. Not that she could always show it openly. The church with its inquisition sat constantly on her back. She had to be diplomatic. For the good listener, however, she is crystal clear. She sees the God experience as the foundation of religion. It is the fountain that fertilises life uninterruptedly. All other things are secondary. Since it is greater than yourself, it is only natural to share it with others. Hence her restless efforts to strengthen her new order and settle anywhere. This unity of contemplation and action is etched in my soul. Like her, I know as prisoner of Eternity the excecutive of the will of the Ultimate. A Miracle
Recently I felt the time increasingly coming closer to the point in which I had to bear my cross. Until then I had lived - not that it was always comfortable - in the protective Dimension of the Mother. There was a swinging back and forth between dissolving on the one hand and the urge to act on the other. Then there would follow a period in which the Mother would show me the way, while at other moments I reproached myself for being to easy. The chance came in the spring of 2004, when an old plan of mine could suddenly be achieved. Friends of us were - miraculously - ready to move to northern Spain to set up an emergency station for PilgrimCare on the route to Compostela. The local population of the town - the beautiful Estella - were so excited about our initiative, that for the summer time they granted us a free space on a major street. Our project consisted of giving free pain treatments (as well) with Chinese guasha therapy *. Off we went to Spain, the country of Teresa of Avila. On my way to Spain the urge to first drive through to Avila was so great, that I went there without even stopping along the way. It was the spiritual excitement which I knew when a special resonance was ahead of me. I intuitively felt that I had to go to Avila. It is as if seeing my precious sister again after being apart for more than 40 years. And Teresa was (is) more than a sister to me....
Once in Avila I immediately ran to the monastery
Encarnación, the monastery where she spent her first time. Once arrived I saw
a large crucifix in the courtyard. Because I always felt crucifixes were pushy for
example crucifixes on top of mountains, hills and rocks always annoyed me now
however there was a subtle curiosity to come closer. The closer I came to it, the greater
my gentleness became. Until I - I could not believe it myself - touched the crucifix with
a certain tenderness. Well, that was quite a shock. There was an immediate peace that
arose in me from head to toe. By the touch it was clear that an inner resistance had
dropped off. I realized that this was my last barrier. Now there was no more resistance,
the significance of the event dawned on me. By allowing the cross, I simultaneously
bore my own cross, the willingness to embrace the role, for which I had
come into this world. The opposition within me was in fact the refusal to commit.
Oh, what a discovery that was. After the initial joy, the new courage and clarity about
what had happened, there were also flashes of having to give up the comfortable
life. Not that that hadnt happened before. Regularly, I had visions about it.
Now it seemed only more definitive.
© 1999 Copyright by Han M. Stiekema. All rights reserved.